For as long as I can remember, I’ve been scared of flying.

I am not the kind of scared of flying where I don’t really like turbulence. I am the kind of scared of flying where driving past Heathrow makes me feel sick. Where watching flying on TV gives me cold sweats. When I do get on a flight (under tearful coercion), I sit frozen in fear, tears pouring down my cheeks for the duration. I arrive at my destination exhausted and emotional, and spend the entire holiday worrying about the flight back home.

As you can imagine, it’s kind of a pain. Not only for me but for my friends and family, who probably wish they’d left me at home.

Apparently one-third of the population suffers from a fear of flying but how we deal with it differs wildly. For many of the more severe cases (hello), it's an indulgence in pre-flight booze or doctor-prescribed diazepam*. This ritualistic form of self-medication is way more common among my fellow plane-phobics than you'd think; who else is buying those miniature bottles of spirits at Duty Free?

Next to me sits Brian, a cheery chap from cabin crew who surreptitiously passes me clean tissues as I sob my way through a description of turbulence.

The more sensible option, of course, is considering treatment. And having grown extremely tired of option one (the novelty of drinking overpriced, warm white wine at 7am in the Gatwick Wetherspoons quickly wears off), I finally decided to plump for option two and signed up for Virgin Atlantic's Flying Without Fear course.

Many major airlines run fear of flying courses, including Virgin, British Airways and easyJet. They all follow roughly the same formula, with the morning spent learning about the nitty gritty of planes, from how the mechanics work all the way down to what the different "bings" alert the cabin crew to. The afternoon explores the psychological elements: Why are you scared and what can you do about it? Finally, you round things off by getting aboard a real, live flight. But could it really work? I wasn't convinced...

So that's how I end up sitting in a nondescript conference room at Gatwick Airport Holiday Inn on a chilly Sunday, along with 150 other people, absolutely bricking it. Next to me sits Brian, a cheery chap from the Virgin Atlantic cabin crew who earns my undying devotion in just a few minutes for surreptitiously passing me clean tissues as I sob my way through a description of turbulence.

I had always imagined that everyone else who didn't like flying was just scared of crashing but talking to my fellow Fear of Flying-ers (FoFs), many similarities jump out. It's about not having control, we all agree. It's about not being able to escape. Many have undergone a horrid experience on a plane and haven't flown for years. Some have never flown at all. In fact, I find out with amazement, I am far in the minority for having flown at all in the past few months. The course director tells us they've even had people show up tranquilised, with a nurse in tow.

As anyone with a particular phobia or mental health fixation will know, the subject of that fear can become an obsession, and we are no different. Between us, we know (or thought we knew) every last detail about the Air France disaster and Malaysia Airlines flight 370. We've read article upon article about the safest place to sit in a plane, and the likelihood of surviving should an emergency water landing be necessary. During a coffee break, there's much talk of Saratov Airlines flight 703, a Russian jet that had crashed just outside Moscow a few weeks earlier.

"We got struck by lightning on the Birmingham fear of flying course," he says. "Biggest anticlimax of my life. Rubbish it was."

Steve Bull, a pilot with 30 years' experience under his belt, is not having any of it. No, the plane will not just drop out of the sky, he says. No, not even if both engines fail. No, not even if the plane goes through severe turbulence. No, not even if both of the pilots die while airborne. He's heard all our questions before, even the wackier ones. Will the obesity crisis make our planes too heavy to fly? No, as it turns out.

There are far more safety measures in place than any of us had realised. Steve has to retake his licence every six months (imagine if the same were true for the roads). The same accident will never happen twice; if a mechanism fails, it will be replaced in all planes. There is a full briefing before every flight.

We learn that turbulence is never as bad as you think it is. Because we don't have a full view of where we're going, our inner ears mess with our balance, causing us to feel movements more acutely. Planes that suddenly "drop" thousands of feet are really only ever losing around 50 feet (I mean, this still sounds terrifying to me).

When the subject of getting hit by lightning comes up, the course director chips in. “We got struck by lightning on the Birmingham fear of flying course," he says. "Biggest anticlimax of my life. Rubbish it was." Cool.

Despite spending the morning learning cold hard facts about how safe flying is, I do not feel any better by lunch. In fact, I've been forced to think about a lot of things that I haven't let myself think about in years. I have an anxious cigarette (insert 'that'll kill you faster than flying' joke here) with some of my fellow course members. All of us, it turns out, self-medicate to get on a plane; all of us are unbelievably sick of it. We just want to be normal.

Over the the afternoon, two psychologists, Tony and Carol, break down our specific worries, arm us with coping techniques and force us to voice our fears. The rituals we've built up as a group are endless: I must sit in a certain seat, I won't fly on the 13th of the month, I must not put my tray table down for the whole flight, I must see two magpies before I get on the plane. Or what? asks Tony. The plane will crash? Well... yes, we say. Before realising how foolish that sounds.

He tells us of one man who refused to get on a flight because he'd been given seat "01E" and that looked a bit like "die". Had I thought that, I would have let my brain get out of control, but when Tony says it out loud, it seems ridiculous. Our brain's ability to catastrophise is our own worst enemy. The things we think we're doing to keep ourselves "safe" and in control are actually giving credence to the negative thoughts which our brain is unhelpfully pushing.

Imagine not flying for 20 years. Some of my team have never experienced the 100ml-or-less situation. They’ve never seen the full-body scanning machines in security.

It is a fascinating afternoon and by the time we head to the airport, I am feeling almost positive. And here's where the difference between me and my fellow FoFs becomes really apparent. I grasp very quickly that I have been incredibly lucky that no one in my life ever let flying fall off the table as a travel option. Yes, my parents might have spent hours holding me down in plane seats while I kicked and screamed my way across the US and Europe when I was small, and yes, my long-term boyfriend might have spent the equivalent of a deposit for a small house on overpriced Ryanair wine for me, but never was I allowed to consider that flying wasn't going to be part of my life. Growing up in different countries, and now, with a sibling living 6,000 miles away, air travel is a necessity. A very unpleasant necessity, but a necessity nonetheless. And because of this, I'm well practised in short-haul flights; it's long haul that scares the bejesus out of me. Twelve hours is a long time to feel out of control.

This is not the case for most of my fellow FoFs, many of whom imagined they would never fly again. For some, today will be their first time boarding a plane in nearly two decades. The fear is visceral. I feel heartbroken for them.

Imagine not flying for 20 years; how different airports were pre-9/11. Some of my team have never experienced the plastic bag 100ml-or-less situation. They’ve never scanned their tickets electronically. They’ve never seen the full-body scanning machines in security. It is baffling to them. And stressful. And they handle it like pros. In the end, it is me (who'd flown just two weeks earlier) who forgets my passport and is called out for extra searches in security when my foundation hides itself under my backpack. Nice one.

Seated on the plane, there is a mixture of tears, heads in hands and deep breathing. The cabin crew we've been with all day are present and comforting. Brian fields our erratic line of questions marvellously (but what happens if the electricity fails in the whole plane? Very little, it turns out).

Pre-takeoff, two people decide the fear is too great and disembark, only to be coaxed back on by psychologist Carol. We all stand and cheer when they return. We are inexpressibly proud of these people we barely know, because we know how bad they're feeling. They're facing their very worst fears head-on and the strength it takes for them to come back is unfathomable. It's honestly one of the most emotional moments of my life.

And then... we take off.

People cry and laugh, they take selfies to send to their kids along with the message that they'll finally be able to go on holiday.

Our Air Germania flight from Gatwick Airport to Gatwick Airport lasts roughly 35 minutes. There is light turbulence, we spy Brighton pier out of the window. Pilot Steve makes rude jokes over the intercom throughout. By and large, once we're airborne, people relax a little. There is relieved joking, a quick trolley service handing out water. And then it's over. We land smoothly. People cry and laugh, they take selfies to send to their kids along with the message that they'll finally be able to go on holiday. A woman whose name I don't know but who I've been hugging for the last 45 minutes, decides we are allowed a glass of wine when we get home. I fully agree.

So do I feel better about flying? Very good question. I certainly feel more reassured about the logistics. Oddly, I feel mentally reassured too, having met so many other sufferers, most far worse off than myself. For 25 years, I've felt alone in my fears, like there was something wrong with me for reacting to flying the way I do. Now I've found out that there's a whole bunch of us out there, I feel as though I belong to a community. And that makes me less weird.

Looking ahead to my next flight, I am less nervous. It's only a short one to Venice and whether I'll wine or not, I haven't yet decided. A possible 12-hour flight in the summer to see my brother still seems a little daunting, though. What I've learned is just to keep flying as much as possible – even £10 flights around the UK at weekends will help. It won't be pleasant but it is an important step in tackling your anxiety head-on.

And when you do get on the next flight, remember that you're far from alone. The woman next to you might look like she's sleeping peacefully under her eye mask, but you don't know what's going through her head. Talk about your fears to your travel partner, to the cabin crew, to anyone who will listen. Most people are pretty understanding; some may even relate to what you're going through. Chances are, once you've voiced your thought out loud, it won't seem so bad.

And hey, if all else fails, just order yourself a glass of overpriced wine. No judgement here.

To find out more about Virgin Atlantic's Flying Without Fearcourse, click here

*Really, truly, don't mix alcohol and diazepam, it's dangerous and addictive. If you are drinking on a flight, remain mindful of the fact that one drink in the air is equal to two drinks on the ground.

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Dear Daniela,

The main thing I want when I put my makeup on is really fresh, healthy-looking skin. But it’s so much harder than it sounds: If I just want something light, do I need BB cream? Or can I apply foundation but thin it out? Do I need different base products for different events? Do I then need to add concealer, or powder? Help!

Francesca, 26

Foundation, concealer, powder. Concealer, BB cream, powder. Concealer, powder, tinted moisturiser. Only Subway has more possible combinations when it comes to layering your base, so I’m not surprised you’re confused. After all, one brand’s ‘full coverage foundation’ is another brand’s ‘lightweight stay-all-day makeup’. Sadly, there’s no rubric to hand when it comes to makeup – but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to stay lost in this maze. In fact, there’s a simple way out: just consider all bases foundation.

In fact, I’d like to direct you to a 2016 tweet by Mindy Kaling, which is every bit as true today:

tinted moisturizer is just foundation

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) December 3, 2016

I’d say the same for BB cream and CC cream, too. They might have different histories and origin stories (BB cream, for example, was originally developed to aid skin healing after surgery), but unlike how champagne can only be thus called if made in the right region, there’s nothing to say any given BB/CC cream has to have all of those properties to bear the name. It might just mean ‘lightweight’!

A lot of the uncertainty around bases comes from peculiar moralising, in my experience. It’s like a lot of women draw a line in the sand at foundation; when I worked as a beauty counter girl, I had countless women say they wouldn’t dream of wearing foundation, only to buy a thick tinted moisturiser, heavyweight concealer and a compact to top it all off. There’s nothing about wearing foundation that means you’ve ‘lost’ or ‘failed’ – it’s what you make of it. It’s seen as the peak of cool-girl beauty to eschew foundation but in reality, other bases are much the same.

"The purpose of foundation is not to cover everything up. It’s just to even out your skin tone a little," confirmed Debbie Finnegan, senior artist at MAC. "Most people want to create something that looks like beautiful skin, with emphasis on skin. They don’t want it to look like a mask. Make your skin look the best it can be, but don’t conceal everything."

Debbie name-checked MAC Waterweight Foundation, £27.50, as her go-to for the daytime and said she’d gone back to their classic Studio Fix Fluid, £24.50, for events or days when she wanted something fuller. "I’m feeling a little oily right now, so the matteness of Studio Fix is appealing," she explained. Right now, I like bareMinerals BarePro Performance Wear Foundation, £29; NARS All Day Weightless Foundation, £34; and Make Up For Ever Ultra HD Foundation, £29. All of those are foundations. I wear foundation every day. None of them ever looks cakey or heavy. I would say they are all more lightweight than a handful of ‘tinted moisturisers’ I’ve tried.

"Don’t sweat what’s on the tin," added Debbie. "Just find something you like, and go from there." Debbie agreed with me that base, concealer where needed, and set with powder is the best routine to follow, but also said: "If you want a really skin-like look, try contouring and highlighting using something like a MAC Cream Colour, £19, on bare skin, then add foundation around that and buff it in. You’ll probably find that with structure already added to your face, you’ll need less in the way of coverage. It sounds back-to-front but it’s a really good tip."

I think all the different names are meant to be a rough guide to ascertaining coverage level, but even the heaviest of foundations can be blended with a dollop of serum or highlighter and made much lighter. Invest in one base that you feel you can apply quickly and get a good level of coverage with for daytime, add in a quality concealer, and consider buying a slightly fuller-coverage base for nights out when you want more photo-perfect skin. Glossier’s ‘Skin first, makeup second’ tagline springs to mind, as Debbie said the best way to get great skin is to prep properly, with a good serum, eye cream and lip balm – which I’ll second. Take the time to massage in something hydrating first (I like The Ordinary’s Buffet Serum, £12.70, or La Roche Posay Hyalu B5 Serum, £37, and a slick of By Terry Baume de Rose, £39), then get to work.

Good luck!

Daniela

Got a question for our resident beauty columnist Daniela Morosini? No problem, qualm or dilemma is too big, small or niche. Email deardaniela@refinery29.uk, including your name and age for a chance to have your question answered. All letters to ‘Dear Daniela’ become the property of Refinery29 and will be edited for length, clarity, and grammatical correctness.

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If you resolved to start recycling more this year, there’s a chance you’ve been doing it wrong. According to a recent survey by Anglian Home Improvements, although the majority of people are doing their bit, many don’t know what exactly can and can’t be recycled.

The study found that 99% of British people “actively recycle” in order to help the planet, but 70% of us are currently unaware of what we can and can’t recycle. Over 67% of the nation know the basics, like that aluminium cans, glass bottles and cardboard can all be recycled, but 27% of us incorrectly think that we can recycle dirty pizza boxes, chocolate wrappers and crisp bags, which unfortunately isn’t the case. Keep that in mind next time you have a girls' night in.

Between 2012 and 2016 there was an 84% increase in rejected recycling due to UK households putting the wrong materials into their recycling bin. In 2016, WRAP, a registered charity that works to reduce waste, found that almost half of all UK households throw away one or more items that could actually be recycled, and considering we each throw away on average 407 kg of waste every year, it’s time we learn how to properly recycle to ensure we do our bit for the environment.

With so many different types of product packaging, materials and symbols, it’s no wonder so many of us give up before we’ve even reached the recycling bin, but recycling doesn’t need to be confusing. If you don’t want to be rubbish at recycling (see what we did there), read on...

You’re recycling paper… but the wrong kind

Most paper and cardboard can be recycled, but there are a few common mistakes people make.

Organic or food waste is one of the main reasons paper and cardboard gets contaminated, causing the entire lot to be rejected and sent to landfill instead of being recycled. That means no greasy pizza boxes or takeaway containers!

Dirty kitchen roll and wrapping paper can't be recycled, either – but a worrying proportion of us incorrectly believe they can be, according to research from the British Science Association (BSA).

A lot of paper and cardboard items, like takeaway coffee cups, are often lined with a thin layer of plastic, meaning they can’t be recycled alongside other cardboard products. To counteract, “Keep an eye out for dedicated coffee cup recycling bins or, better still, get yourself a reusable cup,” says Julian Kirby, waste campaigner at Friends of the Earth.

You’re not recycling food waste

Composting isn't just for gardeners. Even if you don't have any outdoor space, composting can help the environment and save money.

“Things such as eggshells, vegetable peelings and fruit skins really don’t need to be put in the general waste – they’re full of minerals that can help fertilise soil,” says Kirby. “If you’re lucky enough to have a garden, a compost bin will mean your food waste can be reused to power the growth of your plants. If you don’t have a garden, many local authorities will run separate food waste collections to create compost for local parks and gardens, and the act of separating your food waste into a recycling caddy has been proven to make people more aware of what they’re wasting so they can save money by avoiding buying it next time.”

You're forgetting about tea

Be careful about teabags. Because most teabags are sealed with a plastic called polypropylene, the 165 million cups of brew drunk every day in the UK add up to an enormous amount of plastic waste that is either contaminating compost collections or simply gets dumped into landfills. If you want to enjoy a guilt-free cuppa, keep an eye out for eco-friendly teabags like Pukka, Waitrose's Duchy range, and Jacksons of Piccadilly. Or, at the very least, make sure to chuck it in the general waste bin if it can't be recycled.

You’re not giving your old clothes a proper home

It’s always a good idea to streamline your closet and get rid of anything that you haven’t worn in a while or that doesn’t “spark joy”, as organising guru Marie Kondo would say.

“Learning simple maintenance and repairs of our clothes will make them last infinitely longer, but when they do eventually reach the end of their time even clothes that have been ripped to shreds don’t need to go in the general waste,” says Kirby.

One quarter of clothes in the UK end up in the bin

One quarter of clothes in the UK end up in the bin, but you can always sell pre-owned clothes on apps like Depop or donate them to your local charity shop. If they’re a little too worse-for-wear, stained or damaged clothes can be recycled into new items such as padding for chairs, car seats, cleaning cloths and industrial blankets. Many local councils also offer clothes and textiles collections, so it’s worth a quick google to find out if your council is among them.

You’re throwing away batteries and electricals

Because old gadgets, cables or old electricals don’t come with recycling symbols, it’s understandable you’d want to chuck them in the bin. However, Kirby notes it’s illegal to dump electronics in ordinary rubbish bins. The vast majority of gadgets can be recycled at household waste centres, and you can easily find out if your council collects old electricals via gov.uk.

Batteries are also common recycling culprits. “Disposable batteries are full of nasty chemicals which can be leaked into the earth when left in landfills,” says Kirby. “Most local supermarkets will offer a collection point for used batteries, where they will be safely recycled. If you can, use rechargeable batteries to reduce how much chemical waste you create.”

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The news has been awash with reports and investigations recently exposing the perils of drugs bought and used illegally: From reports of teens ordering Xanax and diazepam on the dark web and social media to students buying 'smart pills' online and reselling them on campus.

What we hear less about is addiction to over-the-counter (OTC), aka non-prescription, drugs. Which, by the way, is rife in the UK and while it's impossible to know exactly how many people are affected, a 2015 survey by ITV's Tonight suggested it could be as many as 900,000 – and there's also reason to believe the problem is growing, with many young women suffering in silence.

Drug and alcohol charity Addaction told Refinery29 that while there are no specific figures relating to the number of young women addicted to OTC drugs, "young women might feel stigmatised and find it hard to seek help", according to Rachel Britton, the charity's lead clinical pharmacist. The number of people approaching the charity with OTC drug addiction is increasing and at the same time they say that prescriptions of certain pain medications are increasing, too.

The most common OTC drugs to be misused, and potentially cause dependency, are those containing the opiate codeine, a painkiller used to treat moderate pain, such as headaches or dental pain. In its purest form, codeine is only available on prescription but when mixed with aspirin, ibuprofen or paracetamol, it's available for anyone to buy over the counter, in Boots, any pharmacy or at your local supermarket. The guidelines around sales of codeine-based painkillers were tightened in 2009 to help combat overuse and misuse. Warnings about the importance of sticking to the recommended dosage and the drug's addictive properties were added to packs – the label for Nurofen Plus, for example, clearly states that codeine can "cause addiction if you take it continuously for more than three days".

Most people don't experience problems with OTC drugs and can stick to the recommended dosage of six to eight tablets a day for a maximum of three days. But others, after initially only using these drugs for pain relief, develop a psychological and/or physical dependency that leaves them unable to function without the drugs. "Some people are unable to stop taking the drug, even after their physical pain has gone away, because they enjoy the feeling and it can be an escape," says Britton. "It’s important people are made aware of how powerful codeine is – you don’t have to be taking the medication for very long before it can become a real problem."

'Addicted' is a strong word, but I guess there's no other word for it. I need to take these pills every night.

Codeine isn't the only problem. Medicines containing the decongestant pseudoephedrine, used to treat colds, sinus infections and allergies, along with many other commonly available drugs, are also causing issues in people's daily lives. Sarah, 30, suffers with chronic insomnia and depends on the antihistamine Phenergan (promethazine) to get through the day; the drug is commonly used to treat allergies and many doctors strongly advise against taking it for sleep.

"'Addicted' is a strong word, but I guess there's no other word for it," she told Refinery29. "I need to take these pills every night otherwise I don't function well. If I run out, I panic and it has a significant impact on my day." Pharmacists have warned her against taking the drug for sleep and have even withheld it after she's revealed her true motive for needing it. "Now, I just lie and say I've been bitten so need an antihistamine and they hand it over.

"When I don't have [my usual sleep medication, Zopiclone (zimovane)], I'll try anything to get to sleep. I've even called drug dealers to deliver Xanax or diazepam (Valium) when my insomnia is particularly bad. But someone told me Phenergan worked and you could buy it over the counter, so I started taking it about six months ago."

Her dependence regularly determines how she organises her day. "If I run out of Phenergan and I don't have Zopiclone, I start to panic. I'll frantically google late-night pharmacists and try and get there before they close – there aren't many late-night pharmacists – because I know I won't sleep that night if I don't have it and the next day becomes difficult because I'm exhausted."

I realised I was addicted when the pills were on my mind 24/7 and I couldn't go a day without them.

Thirty-one-year-old Chloe developed a three-year dependence on sleeping pills in her mid-20s after the sudden death of her father. She turned to overwork to "keep herself busy" after the loss and became unable to fall asleep naturally. Chloe was initially prescribed temazepam by her doctor, a powerful drug only used to treat insomnia in the short term (for up to four weeks) due to its addictive properties, but once this ended she became dependent on Boots' own-brand OTC sleeping pills, Sleepeaze, taking three per night – treble the recommended dose.

"I realised I was addicted when the pills were on my mind 24/7 and I couldn't go a day without them," she told Refinery29. She says she was constantly "spaced out, stupid and dozy" and lost two stone in weight as she was "too tired all the time" to eat. "Everything was an effort. They affected my heart and lowered my blood pressure so much I collapsed at work one night in the loos." Her relationships suffered, too, leaving her isolated for three years. "I hid my addiction from my family, which meant I wouldn’t see them, and colleagues and friends thought I was smoking weed so didn’t want much to do with me."

Author and journalist Cathryn Kemp, who founded the Painkiller Addiction Information Network after suffering with addiction to prescription drugs in her early 30s, believes addiction to OTC painkillers is accelerating among women. "It's becoming way more common in women aged 20-60," she told Refinery29. "When I was in rehab I was told that the biggest leap in patients addicted to their medication was among women."

Similarly, Jeff van Reenen, an addiction treatment programme manager at Priory Hospital Chelmsford, acknowledges that while addiction is a disease that knows no age, socioeconomic or gender barriers, "women may find it more difficult to engage in rehab treatment, due to family commitments or social stigma and repercussions in the community."

Sarah admits she needs to change her life, but realises it won't be easy to overcome her addiction. "I know I need help and I accept that, but I was on antidepressants with side-effects for six years, and I'd just had enough," she admits. "So I tried something else and there aren't any side-effects that I can see in my daily life right now, taking Phenergan. Maybe there will be one day, but I often struggle to get through the day, so I try not to think about the future."

If you are struggling with substance abuse, Addaction can offer support. It has services across the country and a webchat where you can speak to someone confidentially.

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Most of us accept an element of visual trickery, or at least dishonesty, as par for the course on Instagram. Indeed, you might be guilty yourself of airbrushing out a spot from a smoking hot selfie, removing a smudge of dirt from an otherwise pristine flat lay, or brightening the sea to make a trip to the beach seem a tad more magical.

But faking a holiday and giving yourself a virtual face transplant with the help of social media is a whole different ballgame, and one blogger has shown just how easy it is to live a lie on Instagram – and get away with it.

British travel blogger Carolyn Stritch, @theslowtraveler, whose usual perfectly manicured feed consists mostly of professional-level travel and lifestyle photos, switched up her approach a few days ago as part of an experiment. She took herself to "Disneyland", giving herself a virtual face transplant in the process, and not even her best friend, sisters, or even her own mother questioned it.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to be 22! I'm treating myself with a trip to Californ-I-ay: I'm off to Disneyland to Instagram the hell out of Sleeping Beauty's Castle," she wrote in the caption to her first "fake" photo, adding that she'd be travelling alone. "It'll be my very own fairytale. Human possibilities vastly exceed our imagination!"

The image racked up more than 15k likes – but barely anyone realised that there was something more than a little off about it. Stritch had completely altered her face on the £1.99 FaceApp and lied about her age (she's actually 32).

A post shared by Carolyn (@theslowtraveler) on Mar 10, 2018 at 9:19am PST

The next day, she posted a candid-looking photo of herself at Disneyland California. "There I am in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle – my crazy, self-indulgent 22nd birthday present to myself," she captioned it. "Tomorrow I'll be back home and it'll be like it never even happened!" But little did Stritch's followers know, it never did happen – she was in the UK the whole time.

A post shared by Carolyn (@theslowtraveler) on Mar 11, 2018 at 12:50pm PDT

More than 17k people liked the photo within four days, with many commenters congratulating her for managing to get a solo photo (despite her travelling alone) in front of a popular tourist trap without a single other person in the shot. "Wow no other people in this picture! Talk about doing the impossible," wrote one. "But how did you get it so empty?! Lol," wondered another.

Stritch hinted at her deception in a cryptic Instagram post the following day and came clean completely the day after that in a frank blog post, titled "Why I hacked my own Instagram account".

I'm not feeling entirely myself after that trip. Strange. Tomorrow I'll share a blog post telling you all about it. It's not every day you get to say: "I'm going to be 22 and I'm taking my self to Disneyland." Well, back to reality. Hard to believe that just yesterday I was standing alone outside Sleeping Beauty's Castle. But I'll always have The Image.

A post shared by Carolyn (@theslowtraveler) on Mar 12, 2018 at 11:15am PDT

The whole thing started with Stritch experimenting with the selfie editing app, FaceApp, which she says turned her into (her words) her "perfect self". "[M]y face changes quickly and dramatically: fine lines flatten, wrinkles smooth out, blemishes unblemish, dark circles disappear, cheekbones rise, eyes brighten, lips get bigger, nose gets smaller."

Out of curiosity, she decided to upload it as her Facebook profile picture – and, worryingly, no one batted an eyelid. "Not my best friend, my sisters, or even my own mam!"

Then the idea for the Disney project sprang to mind. "I came up with a story: my FaceApped perfect self, who’s ten years younger than I am, flies off to Disneyland for the day, and somehow manages to photograph herself all alone in front of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle."

Stritch told Refinery29 that while she was initially surprised when not even her friends or family questioned the photos she was posting, she believed it was the medium of social media that convinced them of their truth. "I think we've become desensitised to this sort of imagery. Also, the photograph is such a powerful thing. It's seen as a kind of evidence."

Thankfully, bloggers who purposely deceive their followers are starting to be called out for their trickery. Blogger and Youtuber Amelia Liana triggered a backlash last yer after she posted a suspiciously perfect photo of herself in front of the Taj Mahal with no other tourists in sight. She has been accused of superimposing herself onto separate photos of locations and landmarks, with many others raising countless other examples.

Stritch's project isn't the first to highlight the ease of living a lie – without being rumbled – on Instagram, either. In 2016 the artist Amalia Ulman revealed that her online persona ‘Instagram Girl’ was artistic experiment. She had been living up to three online female personas: ‘cute girl’, ‘sugar baby’ and ‘life goddess’, and ended up highlighting how easy it was for influencers to deceive their followers.

Case in point, whole "people" have even been created with the help of social media without anyone realising. In recent weeks it was revealed that London-based photographer and digital artist Cameron-James Wilson had created the "world's first digital supermodel", Shudu, and her male counterpart, Nfon, from thin air. The Fenty Beauty Instagram account even reposted a photo of her. It was only when people realised she was just a little too perfect that Wilson was forced to reveal that Shudu has been merely "a way for him to express his creativity".

Stritch admits that the success of her her project "has thrown up more questions than it's answered" and she still ruminating over the potential ramifications, says she wants to highlight the disconnect between the reality of her daily life and her own feed. "I'm sure some people look at my Instagram account and feel bad," she told us. "Look at my account and you might think I'm always travelling or lounging around reading books and drinking coffee.

"Those are the very best bits of my life. I work, study, exercise, clean the bathroom, do all the stuff everyone else has to do. I feel the same pressures my followers feel. I want people to know that."

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Your skin goes through a lot every day. A haphazard morning cleanse. A layer (or two) of makeup. A veil of smog as you commute to work, where the chill outside strips you of moisture and the heating inside your office leaves your face feeling tight. A post-work glass of wine (or two), and a night of tossing and turning, tomorrow’s deadlines already looming in your mind. Even if you don’t think your skin is particularly sensitive (though 52% of British women reportedly do), the hardiest of complexions would need a little TLC after all that, don't you agree?

Enter Dr. Andrew Weil for Origins Mega-Mushroom Relief & Resilience Treatment Lotion. Ten years after Origins' first collaboration with leading integrative medical practitioner Dr. Andrew Weil, they’ve teamed up again to bring some new additions to the family. The new Mega-Mushroom Treatment Lotion is perfect for all skin types – it’s the hydrating and calming booster you need to navigate all seasons. Formulated with the brand's signature Mega-Mushroom Complex (more on that in a sec), the lotion is turbocharged with fermented chaga and coprinus mushrooms, which work to calm and soothe. It also has cold-pressed camellia oil to minimise irritation and a probiotic complex to reinforce the skin’s barrier. "Chaga mushrooms are a brilliant cellular defence and antioxidant, while reishi, often referred to as ‘the queen of mushrooms’ is a superlative anti-inflammatory," explained Dr. Weil. It’s the healing powers of these humble fungi that make them so potent in the Mega-Mushroom Complex, while still calming the skin. By improving the skin’s resilience, you’ll be better protected from whatever the week throws at you, while maintaining that elusive lit-from-within glow.

Want in? There are four great ways to work the lotion into your routine, depending on your skin’s needs. For a once-a-week spa day treat, combine all four for a mega hydration hit, or choose to tap, replenish, massage or refresh your skin as needed.

Read on to learn how...

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Trends may come and trends may go, but certain seasonal tentpoles remain. Where winter is laden with black coats and leather boots (no matter how much effort we put in to dressing otherwise), spring is a rejuvenating period of colourful trends and exposed legs. Once sunlight starts to linger beyond 4 o'clock, even if we're still dodging rain puddles on the pavement, neutral-toned storefronts seem to transition, Wizard of Oz- style, into a technicolor fantasy.

With a literal rainbow of options to choose from, we're breaking it down to the six hues you need to keep your eyes on this spring. From expected winners like an Easter-ready baby blue to some belated adoration for a rich brown, these trending colours will be worth breaking your winter shopping fast for. And forget the olden days of picking just one statement colour: If you love them all, wear them all — the more colours, the better.

What was once called "clashing" is now deemed power styling, so throw as many hues into your spring wardrobe as you want — starting with our forecasted picks ahead.

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Happily, body positive campaigns and imagery are becoming increasingly common among high-street fashion brands. Retailers including Missguided and Asos have won praise for showcasing women of all body shapes and skin tones, for refusing to airbrush models' stretch marks and for giving their in-store mannequins natural body features.

We appluad companies for taking these steps towards greater diversity and inclusion. However, it's rarer to come across a body positive campaign that doesn't indulge the male gaze, namely, one that doesn't present women from a masculine and heterosexual point of view and as objects of male pleasure.

Which is why Monki, one of the multinational Swedish brands owned by H&M, deserves praise for its unretouched imagery of women that consistently celebrates and showcases women's bodies from a female perspective.

Take the images to promote its latest line of swimwear (above). T he beautiful, natural photos feature two non-airbrushed women side by side.

In previous campaigns, women are depicted looking joyful, comfortable in both their bodies and their clothes (rare is the sight of a crippling stiletto heel). See the gorgeous shots of its swimwear campaign from last season, too.

The brand was forced to remove a campaign from social media in 2016 for promoting masturbation, namely, women taking charge of – and revelling in – their own sexuality. “It’s no secret that penetrative sex on its own doesn’t feel that good (a.k.a good at all) for most girls, so masturbation with a partner can be the key to an orgasm during sex,” read the text on one of the images. This may be common sense for many women, but a large portion of the internet objected.

Kara Kia, 24, Refinery29 UK's editorial intern, agrees that the brand deserves a pat on the back. "It's so important to see editorial advertising engaging with the female gaze, it suggests that there are more women making key decisions in a male-dominated field," she says. "I'm proud of Monki for depicting women's bodies truthfully, as a norm, instead of a marketing novelty."

Meanwhile, Louise Marguerite, 25, a blogger and actress, described the most recent swimwear photos as " the perfect definition of body confidence". "The swimwear seems to have been created to enhance what nature gave you and to make you feel fabulous," she continues.

"I don’t see why we photoshop our bodies in the first place. Every body is born with moles and birthmarks and develops wrinkles and stretch marks. What’s unnatural is concealing them with editing programs and creating ultra perfect models. Good on Monki for celebrating our natural bodies and not shouting about it – a model's scars, stretch marks or moles aren’t going to stop you buying a garment."

Rach Earnshaw, 23, a postgraduate student, told Refinery29 it was reassuring to "see bodies that look like [hers] in swimwear campaigns". "It makes me feel like I can wear something other than a black one piece." While she believes Monki could do more to show models of different sizes, their unshowy approach to depicting the female body deserves praise. "It should be the norm, so I appreciate that they haven’t really shouted about it as much [as other brands might]."

Communications consultant, Becky Barnes, 38, meanwhile, said that while any brand that boundaries in terms of representation and diversity gets "a major thumbs up" from her, she appreciated Monki doing it without making a song and dance.

"It’s great that Monki are just cracking on with using more diverse models, but if a brand wants to openly promote that fact, that’s okay too. Anything that furthers diversity is fantastic."

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Ikea has been a mainstay in our homes for pretty much our entire adult lives. The unbeatable prices are reason enough to keep coming back, but above all, the brand just seems to get us — and all the struggles that come with living in a small space. Its products are streamlined, flexible, and multi-functional, bringing all kinds of possibilities to even the tiniest of city apartments.

So, just how exactly does Ikea do it? To say that the Swedish brand keeps its ears to the ground would be an understatement: Every year, the brand embarks on an extensive project to figure out the top desires and pain points of its customers. In-home interviews are conducted in 22 countries around the world, on top of surveying over 22,000 people online. Unsurprisingly, limited square footage is an issue that comes up a lot.

"Our customers are common people and many of them have a thin wallet: That often means they live in a small space," says Johanna Jelinek, a designer at Ikea. "With rapid urbanisation everywhere and more and more people living in shared homes, this has always been on our minds in the process of creating a new product."

The Life At Home Report, a publication detailing the findings, is compiled to inform the product development team on the top problems that need to be addressed by the new designs. At the launch event for the report at the Ikea design headquarters in Älmhult, Sweden, I sat down with Jelinek to discuss everything small-space related. Since the entire Ikea collection is 9,500-products strong, the designer — who's been with the company since 2002 — hand-picked 10 furniture pieces that would work magic in a cramped home.

Click through for her list of top products that can save you tons of space — and the design anecdotes behind them.

Editor's Note: Travel and accommodation to Älmhult, Sweden were provided by Ikea for the purpose of writing this story.

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Lane Murdock, 15, considers herself a first-time activist, but it seems she's always had a revolutionary spirit.

"When I was younger, I would often write up very small petitions at my school for things I honestly can't even tell you what they were for but I just remember going around the playground and having people sign them," the sophomore at Ridgefield High School in Connecticut told Refinery29 Wednesday in Brooklyn's Prospect Park, where she was a speaker at a rally for gun safety.

Thousands of teens walked out of classes that day, which marked the one-month anniversary since the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, which left 17 students and faculty dead.

Lane is the teen behind the National School Walkout, a nationwide protest on April 20, the 19th anniversary of the Columbine High School massacre. Unlike the 17-minute walkout on March 14, the April 20 event will last all day and there will be speakers, activities, and voter registration. Before that, thousands of people are slated to participate in the March for Our Lives on March 24 in Washington, D.C., and around the country.

I think when you take that education, plus you take empowerment, kids who believe in themselves plus social media, you add all that together and you've got very smart people with very smart tools.

Her frustration with how quickly our nation seems to move on after mass shootings led her to start a Change.org petition, which as of now has more than 250,000 signatures. Change.org has been helping her coordinate her activist outreach. "I thought a lot about how students have no power, no voice, even though when shooters go into schools, we're the ones who are getting killed. So even though we can't vote, we still have a place in this discussion," she told Refinery29. "I thought about what power we do have and that is our participation in school, that is our actual physical bodies in school if we could walk out, if we could take that small amount of power we do have and let it be known that we weren't going to stand for this anymore. I thought it could be really powerful. So far, it's shown me that I was right," said Lane, who lives in a town just 20 minutes away from Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Though she was very young at the time of the Sandy Hook shooting, Lane said the incident had an impact on her. "I can't remember a lot from that age, but I do remember the specific moment of seeing my mom crying on the couch, I mean it definitely made an imprint on me," she said. "Not a lot has changed since Sandy Hook, and that's actually why I chose the Columbine date — because not a lot has changed since Columbine."

#NationalSchoolWalkout
This isn't just a movement this is the #future pic.twitter.com/Gg0RO87t9T

— Lane Murdock (@lanemurdock2002) February 24, 2018

Beyond using social media to bring attention to her cause, Lane said she's arming herself with knowledge of gun policy. "So most of my time, other than tweeting and getting the word out, is educating myself because I'm 15," she said. "I think we're a highly educated generation. I think when you take that education, plus you take empowerment, kids who believe in themselves plus social media, you add all that together and you've got very smart people with very smart tools. And I think that's why we've been able to equip ourselves, because we have the whole world at our fingertips."

Lane, much like the Parkland student activists, is very aware of her privilege, and plans to use it to ensure marginalised groups have their voices heard in this national gun control debate. "You look at other movements by people of colour in the early 2000s and the 2010s, and you see how quickly the media turned against them, and now you look at how quickly media has been positive towards us," Lane said. "That's why for me and my team, we're planning on doing a lot more outreach to people of colour organisations that have been fighting this fight for a long time, because they deserve the credit for their work."

As for what's next, Lane recognises the fight for gun safety is just getting started. "My work does not end after April 20th," she said. "We have a lot more things in store.

"I don't exactly know where I'll be in 10 years, but I know I'm not one for settling, so I will not disappear back into, quote-unquote, normal life. I definitely want to do something that's important and something that has a purpose."

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Warning: Light spoilers ahead for On My Block.

The On My Block cast knows exactly where the roots of their Netflix high school comedy, premiering Friday, March 16, come from. “ Sixteen Candles. Anything by John Hughes,” Jason Genao, who plays brainy motormouth Ruby Martinez, recently told a group of journalists in New York, “[The creators] were telling they’re big influences. They’re like, ‘Just watch John Hughes.’”

But, John Hughes, purveyor of classics like The Breakfast Club and the aforementioned Sixteen Candles, never showed his audience high school freshman passionately hooking up in their childhood bedrooms, in front of their homes, and inside of their school supply closet. And, when I say “passionately,” I mean On My Block puts two of its leads, Monse Finnie (Sierra Capri) and Cesar Diaz (Diego Tinoco), who were in middle school a few months ago, in a powder keg of oft-shirtless sexual tension. These are two 14-year-olds who have already slept together and often spend their time trying to figure out which class period they can fit in another sneakers-knocking session. It’s a version of high school rarely shown in pop culture, but serves as a necessary, nuanced reality check.

On My Block might not be the first high school show to give us young people having sex, but it certainly feels different from its fellow teen shows. The big difference is just how grounded in reality the Netflix comedy, co-created by Awkward mastermind Lauren Iungerich, is. This is a cast who actually looks like could just be starting high school.

Monse is believably uncomfortable about her new body — “You got boobs,” Ruby and the anxious, obsessive Jamal Turner (Brett Gray) say in unison when their friend returns from a summer at writing camp — and elated by it. She proudly sports a new halter top before covering up her chest after unsettling male attention is thrown her way. Jamal is gangly in all the accurate ways a 14-year-old boy is, and Ruby is desperate to seem suave beyond his years. Even Cesar, obviously positioned as the friend group’s resident hunk, is pretty awkward.

Compare these descriptions to shows like Riverdale, where Archie Andrews (KJ Apa) is apparently so mature an adult woman falls in love with him and his endless abs, or Pretty Little Liars, where the same crime occurs, only with the genders flipped. No one on these melodramas ever acts like this behaviour is as big of a problem as it is. Instead, series like those exist in a world where teens speak, dress, and romance in a way no different from extremely wealthy 27-year-olds. Remember, Veronica Lodge has shower sex with pearls on.

On My Block is not one of those shows. On My Block proves real young teens are having sex, and the adults in their lives should probably talk to them about.

Monse’s real-life alter-ego Sierra Capri defended her show’s ultra-realistic depiction of teenage sexuality, saying, “To me, the honest truth is that even though a lot of parents will have reservations about letting their children watch this, [but], especially at 14, [sex is] being brought up. If not at home then at school … They don’t have to hide it from their children.” Brett Gray, ever the hype man for his cast, added, “It’s out there.”

Soon enough, the conversation turned into a defence of Monse and Cesar’s tumultuous, very sexual relationship. Capri began, turning to on-screen on-again, off-again boyfriend Diego Tinoco, “I think you and me, we have a lot of moments where…” Both Tinoco and Gray were kind enough to fill in the blank, both yelling, “It gets hot!” Capri wrapped up the investigation in Monsar (Ces-se?), explaining, “It gets hot, but there’s love there.”

That distinction of true love versus sexual chemistry is what leads to the couple's most compelling roadblock. Throughout On My Block season 1, Cesar desperately wants to take his romance with Monse public because he does love her, while she’s terrified to do so. It’s unclear why, specifically, Monse is so hesitant until “Chapter Six,” when she spells everything out for Cesar.

“For you, screwing me gives you street cred,” she yells at him. “For me, screwing you makes me a whore.” It’s sexism at its most blatant, and Monse’s argument is only strengthened by Cesar’s response: “Not if we’re together.” He truly believes a public relationship is the sole thing standing between Monse and a such a misogynistic label, not realising that kind of outlook only adds to the issue. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, no one should be calling Monse a “whore” for sleeping with someone — it does take two to tango.

That’s why she responds, “Then I’m just your bitch, and you’re only with me for one reason.” In a culture that shames girls for having sex while also pressuring them into having sex to please the men around them, this is an uncomfortably realistic rock-and-a-hard-place predicament real-life teen girls are faced with.

Although Cesar thinks Monse is wrong for rejecting him, many of his actions play into her greatest social fears. When she returns from writing camp, she finds out Jamal and Ruby have excommunicated Cesar for a secret reason. It’s eventually revealed the rift was caused by Cesar claiming he slept with Monse before she left for the summer.

By the end of “Chapter One,” we find out Cesar wasn’t lying, but only shared that very personal information to “protect” Monse from his gang member older brother Oscar “Spooky” Diaz (Julio Macias), who recently left jail. Spooky, an adult man, wanted to “get at” Monse, a 14-year-old girl, upon his release, so Cesar had to “claim” her. These men and boys are literally speaking about Monse as though she’s chattel, as opposed to a living, breathing human person with her own sexuality.

Considering just how often this actually happens in real life, it’s no wonder Diego Tinoco defended his on-screen relationship by saying, “It’s a real teenage romance … That’s as authentic as it gets.” He couldn’t be more right.

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The understanding that high-achieving students turn to drugs like Adderall and Ritalin to get ahead academically is so well-documented that the stereotype has made its way onto TV shows like Riverdale and Pretty Little Liars. You get the idea: A smart student uses Adderall as a secret weapon to focus during a tough homework assignment or a major exam.

But as the new Netflix documentary Take Your Pills reiterates, drugs like Adderall aren't performance supplements. They're really meant for people who actually have an attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and there's a huge difference between lacking focus and having ADHD.

" Everyone has distractions and difficulty getting things done," says Yamalis Diaz, PhD, clinical assistant professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health. "But there is a very significant difference between general distractibility and ADHD that those medications are intended to address."

Unlike harmless distractions, ADHD is a chronic condition that involves difficulty focusing. Dr. Diaz says it's an often-genetic neurological disorder, in which different parts of the brain are either underactive or overactive. And drugs like Adderall are meant to bring those parts of the brain to normal functioning levels.

"Adderall and stimulant medications, which are often the first line of defence in treating ADHD from a medical standpoint, are thought to enhance certain neurochemicals that are involved in focus, paying attention, and also motor control and impulse control," she says. "So the main components of ADHD are re-regulated through those impulses."

You really are messing with brain chemistry at that point and you could really do some damage.

But in order to be diagnosed with ADHD, Dr. Diaz says that a person has to have at least six symptoms of inattention "happening most of the time, altogether causing you actual daily functional impairment."

Those symptoms include: being easily distracted, difficulty focusing on tasks, not following through on instructions, having trouble organising, making careless mistakes, and being generally forgetful. Sometimes, a person might also have symptoms of hyperactivity and the impulsivity, though that's more common in children than it is in adults.

According to CDC data from 2012, approximately 11% of children in the U.S. have been diagnosed with ADHD, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports that about 60% of children who have ADHD will become adults who have ADHD.

"Children don’t typically outgrow ADHD, so we have adults who have ADHD," Dr. Diaz says. "The inattention we see persists long into adulthood, and that usually is what causes adults the most amount of impairment."

If you haven't been diagnosed with ADHD, using Adderall could become severely damaging.

"If you don't have ADHD, you are taking regular levels of neurological chemicals and heightening them past the normal level, whereas for people with ADHD, it brings their chemicals to a normal level," Dr. Diaz says. "So you really are messing with brain chemistry at that point and you could really do some damage."

She says that taking ADHD medications off-label when you aren't supposed to can, in some cases, lead to rapid heart rates and even heart attacks.

"I think it’s important for people to understand that they're putting themselves in some real danger," she says.

Whether you're taking Adderall or any other pill, self-medicating without a doctor's input is ill-advised. We all get distracted, and we all procrastinate from time to time, but if you think you're suffering from ADHD, it's best to check in with a medical professional before you diagnose yourself — even if it seems like everyone around you is doing it.

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“There’s nothing we can do unless you have proof that a crime’s been committed.” This is what a police officer says, in a calm and unshakeable drawl, to a worried mother in Unsane. Her daughter, Sawyer, confesses that she still sees the stalker who she moved to a different city to avoid. One flashback and a slip of the tongue later, Sawyer’s been locked up in a mental institution, to be taken care of. Better safe than sorry, because women lie about these things all the time, right?

Steven Soderbergh’s iPhone-shot thriller uses B-movie tropes and scrappy levels of melodrama to create a boisterous, energetic romp. Sawyer Valentini (played by a brilliant Claire Foy) is the woman on the verge, the character being questioned in Unsane. She’s since been described as “neurotic”, “a complete wreck” with a “fragile psyche”, and “naturally angry” by a wide range of (mostly male) critics – but you can’t really blame them. A story like this isn’t exactly new, and writing a bossy, relentless and often annoying woman still isn’t shocking. Amusing, if a bit saddening, the tropes borrow from age-old gender expectations which still remain to be challenged. But amid the kitsch jump-scares and heightened theatrics of Sawyer’s battle, Unsane might be the first film in a post-Weinstein era to actually make people listen. Or at least, it might make them question why they’re not.

The film bashes into a flurry of issues, from healthcare insurance to dodgy identity protection in the US. But what prevails, in a film being pushed and pulled in all directions, is the magnetic stamina of Foy’s performance as Sawyer. Foy is wired, her determination fizzing with verve in a deeply unsettling and somehow simultaneously playful role. Navigating leery bosses and distinctly mediocre Tinder dates, Sawyer is trying to get by in a city that promises her a new beginning. But when her most recent date triggers unwelcome memories, she finally submits and seeks help.

“Rationally, I know my neuroses are colluding with my imagination. But I’m not rational,” Sawyer tells a support worker who she hopes may help. And she genuinely believes that people will help – why wouldn’t they? But in admitting her (self-determined) weakness and making the difficult decision to acknowledge and share her fears, Sawyer’s anxieties only get worse as they become the demons that define her. As she tumbles further down the rabbit hole, the actual events that led her to speak out are mostly forgotten. The assault becomes one between what she knows and what the rest of her world wants to make her believe.

While Unsane might not strike every chord in a sharp and polished way, it digs into a scarily relevant problem that plagues modern dating and relationships: gaslighting. The phenomenon describes a way of emotionally manipulating a person to instil doubt about events and beliefs, eventually making them question their own sanity. For the many women who have, and continue to, come forward to condemn harassment and assault without always being listened to, it’s far too familiar – especially in the throes of #MeToo and Time’s Up.

There are references to “madhouse” classics in Unsane, which undoubtedly capitalises on the thrill of horror movies like Gaslight and Shock Corridor to write an entertaining narrative. But it’s difficult to ignore the parallels with Hollywood's still-moving landscape. It’s hard to determine whether this film is a cartoonish parody or a crystal-clear mirror, exposing truths that have been concealed for too long.

The film survives, on such a rickety foundation of messy genre stereotypes and low-budget aesthetics, because to question a woman's sanity rather than listen to her concerns can often provide a quick default solution, both on screen and off. To see such a painfully common through-line provide the basis for a hilariously bold and brash horror movie is refreshing. In questioning Sawyer’s sanity, I found myself questioning my own integrity. Why don’t I believe her? Would I be believed? Does gaslighting even exist?

In short – yes it does. Ghosting, benching, breadcrumbing, zombie-ing; there are countless trends employed by men (and yes, also by women) to intentionally or unintentionally harm a person in a relationship. Often involving a form of manipulation, either to maintain hope or sow doubt, it’s now far easier to question a person’s sanity than it is to try and trust a word anyone says. So the previously mentioned reviews of Unsane make sense, but also beg the question – is the debate focused on the quality of the film, or on Sawyer’s ability to tell the truth as a woman? Can she even do that?

Gaslighting comes to fruition when the person being accused begins to rethink their own feelings and concerns, after being urged to by someone else. Thankfully, as more women speak out about past and present abuse, Unsane shouldn’t need to be seen as a cry for help. It’s a wild and not always classy ride, with gawky comedy and look-away horror in turn. But it would be unfair to ignore its potential to stir a reaction against a real-life danger, even in a rough-and-ready format.

When watching Sawyer’s nightmare become increasingly vivid, try and take a step back. Have you ever dismissed someone’s accusations rather than ask them how they’re feeling? As the film skilfully portrays a spiral down, in, around and back out of insanity, it focuses on this woman’s mental health rather than her experiences of harassment, stalking and now, gaslighting. “Is she becoming too deeply unhinged?” The Hollywood Reporter asks in its review of the film, to which Sawyer indirectly replies: “Maybe it’s all in my head.”

Maybe it is, but to consider an exotic alternative in which trust replaces preconceptions of female hysteria, Unsane offers a glaring warning sign of the times if ever there was one.

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Inspiration, creativity and great fashion sense come in all shapes and sizes, and Bethany Rutter's book Plus+ is here to prove it. The London-based fashion blogger and fat activist (formerly of Arched Eyebrow fame) has edited and recently launched a coffee table book featuring over 100 of the boldest and most empowering plus-size street style looks from all over the world.

Bethany was initially approached by the publisher Ebury Press in the summer of 2016 and started working on the project about 10 months later. “I would never have gone to my agent about doing a plus-size street style book, because I just never assumed there was a market for it and that any major publisher would get behind it,” she admits. But people are increasingly demanding a better and broader representation of women and society, and since coming out last month, Plus+ has been racking up positive responses for championing plus-size diversity and impeccable style for a wider audience. “There was a book published before mine, The Little Book of Big Babes by Rachelle Abellar, but that was self-published [and might not have been distributed as widely],” Bethany explains. “I think to have a book on mainstream sale has been really positive for a lot of people.”

Mixing up #BoPo leaders like Gabi Fresh and Nadia Aboulhosn with less established names, Bethany scouted talent outside of her circle too, looking for the fiercest shots: “I had to contact everyone and say: ‘Here is the photo of you that I feel is really cool and represents your style and plus-size fashion really well, I’d like to use it in this book’.” She also collected personal quotes on fashion and style from each blogger and influencer, to accompany the images.

Refinery29 caught up with Bethany to learn more about the creation of the book, her aspirations for the project, and to discuss the current situation of the plus-size community, in mainstream media narratives and in the fashion industry, too.

What makes Plus+ different and how do you hope to reshape the conversation around plus-size?

I think what it does is show all of the different ways of being plus-size. We often get only one mainstream narrative about what it means to be plus-size and who to make the face of the plus-size world – typically, models who are really at the smaller end of the plus-size spectrum. I just wanted to say that that is not the only acceptable way of being plus-size and I wanted to create something that would genuinely be useful and make people of different races, ethnicities and countries, with different styles, look at the book and be like: “Cool, I am at peace with my body and with the way I dress” or “I feel inspired to do something different.”

I hope for it to empower readers, I don’t know if it will ever have a big impact on the way fashion, or plus-size fashion, is perceived, but I hope it has an impact on the way plus-size women perceive themselves as part of a global community of amazing, interesting, diverse women.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about plus-size fashion?

It probably is that retailers always know best, or that they always know what we want. There’s still a tendency to make clothes for what used to be the idea of plus-size women: slightly older and slightly more embarrassed about being plus-size. But whenever we’re presented with something new, interesting or more audacious, we’re really excited about it and we do buy it. As we know, a lot of the plus-size women of today are younger and it’s important for brands to reflect that. Basically, it’s about having as much variety for plus-size fashion as there is for mainstream fashion.

Are you seeing any change happening in the market?

It does feel like we’ve never had more choice, like things are the best they’ve ever been, but I think that still revolves around a relatively small part of the plus-size world and that people above, like, maybe a UK size 28, are still being really underserved. So yes, there is change but I think it needs to be more radical in more directions. It often feels more likely that a plus-size brand would start doing non plus-sizes than extend their range above a UK size 28.

The ‘ plus-size ’ label has been sometimes criticised and rejected. What do you think about it?

I am very in favour of it, because I just think: “How am I meant to find clothes if I don’t know where to look?” If I don’t have that label up there, how am I going to know which brands make clothes for me? Also, it feels like most of the people that criticise the plus-size label are people that are on the cusp, anyway. It’s always [UK] size 16-18 models that are rejecting it, because they can. While I can’t. If I reject that label I don’t know how to navigate the world.

Plus+, edited by Bethany Rutter, is out now, published by Ebury Press

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When I was 15 years old, my aunt told me to never dye my hair. "It'll never be the same again," she said. "You'll damage it beyond repair." Although her scare tactic wasn't entirely sound, there is some truth in it. Permanently dyeing your hair often involves harsh chemical components — like ammonia, peroxide, or paraphenylenediamine — that can make your hair weak and brittle, changing the structure of your strands in the process; it could even cause allergic reactions. The more you dye it, the more damage you create. This is just a necessary evil most of us who colour our hair accept... but we might not have to.

A research team at Northwestern University recently discovered an alternative to the damaging dyes of yore, and it could mean a very bright future for hair colour innovation. Materials scientist Jiaxing Huang and his research team recently published a study in the journal Chem hypothesising that a naturally black carbon material, graphene, can be used as a successful hair dyeing agent. Their experiment included spritzing a platinum blond hair sample with a graphene and water-based solution, brushing it, then letting it dry (either by air or blowdryer). The result: natural-looking black hair.

Huang and his team found that the new colour, which coats strands rather than penetrating them, can last up to 30 washes, which technically qualifies it as a permanent dye alternative. But what's even more intriguing is that this dyeing dupe is pretty magical for more than the one damage-free reason. This nontoxic substance is also anti-static, antibacterial — so you shouldn't have to wash your hair as often as you're used to — and can regulate heat on your head. And just as a very extra bonus: The carbon coating carries an electric current, which means that somewhere in the near future, you'll be able to wear colour-changing hair accessories controlled by an LED source.

Of course, there's a catch and that is that at the moment, this graphene dye only works for dyeing your hair black or brown. Also, don't rush to your local Ulta to search for a box of this stuff already on the shelf. Huang told Co.Design that he's "optimistic" about the graphene solution eventually being sold in stores — but until then, we'll have to keep those standing six-week salon appointments intact. In the meantime, stock up on some Olaplex, do your research, and cross your fingers for this innovation to find its way to your scalp sooner rather than later.

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Can you believe? At this point, Netflix's Queer Eye revival has surely become the surprise TV hit of 2018. We've laughed, cried and rejoiced at the news that standout contestant Tom is now back together with his ex, Abby. We've also read a lot of thoughts on whether the show's food expert, Antoni Porowski, can actually cook or not. (As Refinery29's Elena Nicolaou recently found out, he really can.)

Now the show has been given the ultimate pop culture seal of approval: a fan parody that's rapidly going viral on Twitter. Melissa Aquiles, a writer and performer from New York City, dressed up as each member of the Fab Five (Antoni, Karamo, Jonathan, Tan and Bobby) to give her somewhat reluctant boyfriend a Queer Eye makeover, and the results are hilarious. I'm especially impressed with her impersonation of grooming expert Jonathan, which is spot-on from the very first "YASSSS HENNY". Check out the parody video below.

I love @QueerEye on @netflix so much that I became all five of them and made over my boyfriend.

Thanks for the inspiration ❤️ @jvn @bobbyberk @KaramoBrown @tanfrance @antoni

The very end was cut off. I’m just standing by the door. pic.twitter.com/UUu8TNUC8L

— yo miss (@MelissaAquiles) March 16, 2018

At the time of writing, Aquiles's parody has racked up over 11,000 likes. It's also won the approval of some of the Queer Eye guys themselves. Design expert Bobby Berk branded it "genius", while culture expert Karamo Brown wrote: "I can't stop laughing!" Antoni Porowki also offered a more playful endorsement of Aquiles's work.

Genius! ♥️. PS... do I twirl that much?! 🕺🏼

— Bobby Berk (@bobbyberk) March 16, 2018

*slow clap* https://t.co/lqDR3Ct99I

— Antoni Porowski (@antoni) March 16, 2018

Omg!!!! I can’t stop laughing!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha “your transformation is complete” lol https://t.co/8iYG898om7

— Karamo Brown (@KaramoBrown) March 16, 2018

So, Tan and Jonathan, we're just waiting on your reactions to the parody video. Oh, and while we're at it, could you also let us know when we can expect to see season two? We're already gagging for some new episodes of Queer Eye to watch and get emotional over.

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Even if you swerved Veganuary this year, you probably know someone who gave the challenge a go. Veganism isn't for everyone, as food writer Ruby Tandoh has explained so brilliantly, but it's undeniably a lifestyle choice on the rise. Beyoncé is currently midway through a 22-day vegan meal plan ahead of her Coachella headline set later this month.

In fact, the organisers of Veganuary have revealed that 168,500 people from 165 different countries registered to take part this year - a massive increase from the 59,500 who registered in 2017 and 23,000 who registered in 2016.

Of the people who responded to Veganuary's survey after taking part in the challenge, 83% identified as female, 1% as gender nonconforming, 1% as other, and 15% as male. Some 40% of respondents said that before Veganuary they were omnivores (people who eat animals and plants); 33% were vegetarian; 16% were pescetarian; and 11% were already vegan.

An impressive 82% of respondents said they managed to stay meat and dairy-free throughout the month, while 62% said that after trying Veganuary, they intend to stay vegan permanently. Nearly two-thirds (66%) said they felt that embracing veganism had helped their health in some way.

It's worth noting that not everyone who attempted Veganuary this year will have officially registered to do so. And of course, not everyone who did register replied to the survey.

Nevertheless, Veganuary 's chief executive Simon Winch hailed 2018 as a "stellar year" for the campaign, saying: "Right across the world, people are recognising that each of us can truly make a difference to our health, to animals and to the environment, and we can do it easily – and tastily – three times a day.

"Small changes that we make have a huge collective impact, and for the two-thirds of our participants who reported health benefits in just four weeks, there is another incentive to remain vegan."

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There's a man out there who just turned 105 and swears it's because he adds a shot of whiskey to his tea every morning. Which sounds fun and all, if only my track record with Jack Daniels didn't always end with me FaceTiming my mum at 3 AM before subsequently waking up to a hangover and a puffy face.

Tea, on the other hand, I believe in. Not only does drinking it work like magic whenever I'm stressed, sick, or tired, but I've also been known to place chilled, leftover sachets on my undereye area to reduce swelling. More recently, and because cleaning up drippy tea bags can be pretty messy, I've started applying another form of caffeine to my face: Juara's botanically-based, antioxidant-packed, tea-infused eye cream.

Housed inside the little brown pump, teas of the green, chamomile, and fermented black variety (Kombucha) work hard to quell inflammation and protect against UV-induced damage. I know I need all the help I can get, given my tendency to squint any time I step outside, so I've been using the formula twice a day for two weeks to promising results.

Kombucha's special talent? Scavenging for cell-damaging free radicals to destroy. "Black tea contains a large amount of antioxidants, and even more caffeine than green tea," says Dr. Alan J. Parks, MD, dermatologist and founder of DermWarehouse. "Both can help fight the signs of aging. Kombucha itself is hydrating and can improve skin elasticity." Can your whiskey do that?

Juara Miracle Tea Complete Eye Creme, £34.13, available at SkinStore.

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I didn't encounter the words 'feminised' or 'feminisation' until I started transitioning. Yet currently, both words occupy quite a few media inches, in reference to those who have had feminising surgeries and, by omission, those who haven't. It's a trans concern but one that ripples way out.

When I first engaged with talking therapy to try and resolve my issues around gender, people (professionals and friends) would ask me what I was going to do to become more feminine, what surgeries might I have done to erase the masculine features created by testosterone. Would I consider having my face shape changed, my brow line, my hairline, my chin, my nose, my lips? Bigger breasts, smaller shoulders, pretty hair? I would stand in front of the mirror and quite literally tug, pull, push and attempt to non-surgically change my face from what now felt almost Neanderthal, into Disney. My internal aim was to look like Kate Moss (ridiculous I know) but I often spent days hating my face and wishing for her perfect, symmetrical elfin beauty. I felt like I had to be dainty in order to fit in. I had to be soft and smooth.

All around me people talked about the parts of me that made me stand out: my voice too deep, my shoulders too wide, my eyes too heavy-set, my chin too square... the list is eternal. This felt strange because, before transitioning, I had spent my whole life being told I was too feminine for my own good: I walked like a girl, talked like a girl, sat like a girl, read like a girl, played sports like a girl. These were pejorative, nasty, spiteful insults – which, ironically, I adored. But apparently, the instant I started to transition, I resembled Cro-Magnon man.

I felt elated at the start of my transition, proud of my courage to be open and honest about who I felt I was. But the process of becoming me was draining. The need to fit a stereotypical binary model of femininity was utterly dispiriting. For years I felt that I was not good enough, that I was clumsy, unattractive, that if I didn't have a fringe or soft razor-edged hair I would seem masculine.

Hanging over me the whole time was the knowledge that I could change my face and body by undergoing feminisation surgeries and training. I could sell my house to pay for it – my house which I had struggled as a teacher to buy and hold onto through the years when I could barely pay the mortgage.

My first act of womanhood was a commitment to my economic security. I held onto my house and realised that I couldn't afford the surgeries that may alleviate the dysphoria which at that point I saw as mine to own, not as society’s problem (as I do now). I spent lots of time coming to terms with my body and face and realised that the surgeries we trans folk can have may offer safety and success but they might not be progressing the rights of all trans people. I wanted to linger, politically and personally, and occupy trans as a destination. The longer I have transitioned, the less important it is for me to be seen simply as a woman. The authenticity of trans, masculine features and all, is so often derided by our rush to pass through it and get to a place where we are perceived to be just like every other woman.

I'm not like every other woman; I'm fabulously and creatively transgender. There, I said it – and the sky hasn't fallen in.

The other day I read something like: "She had facial feminisation surgery and the work flooded in." Our community should celebrate any trans person getting success – and I do – but the context in which our success is celebrated and our careers advanced is far too often still packaged in cis society’s desire to see the trans in us disappear. We are celebrated when we shake off our transness.

The indication is that being suitably feminine is rewarded with work. The brilliant Janet Mock has been one of the few to shine a light on the presence of 'pretty privilege' in the trans community. In an interview in Nylon magazine, Mock talked about how, after embarking on her medical transition at 15 years old, she saw her body change; she began ‘passing’ as a cis girl, and with it, the reactions to her body changed. “With my gender nonconformity seemingly fading away,” Mock writes, “I began to attract the attention of 18-to-24-year-old cis guys who began stopping to inform me that I was pretty.” She explains that she was suddenly accepted, yet “did nothing to earn the attention my prettiness granted me.”

I know writing this will make me unpopular. I know that the transphobes out there who attack us every day might think this article is for them; it's not. I am not criticising any trans person who wishes to blend, fuck that – I want to blend, it means I get work, it means I'm safe(r) in this shitty #MeToo world of ours. But the entry point for success, aspiration and affirmation is walking slap bang into sexist structures that reward smooth, youthful beauty. We need to be able to check that; it's privilege that is creating a two-tier system which leaves trans behind as the ugly, clumsy sibling.

This isn't new, women on television not being entitled to age, having to erase any signs of life from their faces and reducing their reactions, their facial responses, their fun, their joy, their anger, their laughter, to an ever-present, part frozen, Botox-regulated grin. I have beautiful friends in their 20s who are already having Botox to ward off lines, to stave off ageing. Lines, natural lines, are seen as unattractive, not viable for careers.

Age happens to us all so let's not think that these cultural norms we are creating (beautiful trans folk = success; ageing in anyone = VERY BAD) don't apply to us. I know it's spectacularly easy to think we can demarcate young and old, and I know many will view me as old – perhaps the word 'bitter' will appear on my timeline – but I assure you this is about politics and cultural submissiveness, which I witness becoming norms.

Botox will not prevent you, me, us, from ageing and eventually dying. We all age, we are all temporary, but the important things are always deeper; we should be able to look in the mirror and celebrate who we are, barefaced and naked. That's the kind of politicised equality I want to work towards, one where all trans people have the same opportunity for economic and personal success and safety, one where women are allowed to age and not be shamed into feeling that they are letting themselves go if they don't paralyse their expressions into porcelain smoothness. I want to reside in my transness and celebrate my trans identity. I think I may just define myself as simply being trans from now on, because I do trans very well. Trans is my success point.

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On Thursday, Rihanna showed the world that domestic violence is no joking matter when she called out an offensive advertisement with serious results. Snap, the parent company of Snapchat, experienced an £570 million drop in market value over Thursday and Friday, after the pop star and global education advocate expressed her disappointment over an offensive ad which appeared on its platform.

“Now SNAPCHAT I know you already know you ain’t my fav app out there! But I’m just trying to figure out what the point was with this mess!” Rihanna wrote on her Instagram story. Her statement was in response to an ad for a mobile version of the game “Would You Rather?” which asked users whether they would choose to “Slap Rihanna” or “Punch Chris Brown.” This question is exceptionally insensitive given that in 2009, Brown plead guilty to beating Rihanna during argument while they were dating. “I’d love to call it ignorance but I know you ain’t that dumb. You spent money to animate something that would intentionally bring shame to DV victims and make a joke of it.”

The singer underscored how the offensive ad shames domestic violence victims in its depiction. “This isn’t about my personal feelings, cause I don’t have much of them...but all the women, children, and men that have been victims of DV in the past and especially the ones who haven’t made it out yet...You let us down!” wrote Rihanna before adding, “Shame on you.”

The sudden and shocking drop which caused Snap CEO Evan Spiegel’s personal net worth to plummet by £105 million is being referred to by Forbes as the “Rihanna Effect.” In a statement issued to CNN, Snap called the ad “disgusting,” before explaining that they are now investigating how it happened “so that we can make sure it never happens again.”

The incident calls into question the use of self-service ad platforms often employed by social networking platforms such as Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook. The ad platforms allow companies to buy ad space on apps with little to no human interaction in the approval process. While Snapchat’s policies don’t allow for “ content depicting excessive violence,” algorithms meant to catch crude content can easily miss what doesn’t fit specific parameters.

Rihanna is the latest celebrity to make a stock-sinking comment about the social media platform. Last month, Kylie Jenner tweeted that she will no longer use the app following a redesign that users almost unanimously agreed made the interface too confusing. As a result, Snap lost £930 million in market value.

After Rihanna’s rebuke, Snapchat can’t afford another misstep. The company may need to reconsider the extent it utilises self-service ad platforms to avoid future pitfalls.

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