After my first job at MTV working as a music programmer, I can't stop trying to matchmake people with music they might like. So, I wrote a book calledRecord Collecting for Girlsand started interviewing musicians. The Music Concierge is a column where I share music I'm listening to that you might enjoy, with a little context. Follow me on Twitter or Facebook, or leave me a comment below and tell me what you're listening to this week.
Lana Del Rey "Mariners Apartment Complex"
That's right: LDR is back, has been working on new music, and just dropped the first track from her sessions recording with producer Jack Antonoff. Hopefully, this means a new album from our favourite noir singer before Christmas. Lana offers up another slice of West Coast-centric Americana, with Antonoff blending smoothly into her signature style. The most unusual feature to this track is the speak-singing she indulges in throughout the choruses; while not totally unprecedented in her catalog, they are taken to an interesting extreme here. The lyrics to the song are rife with references, with lyrics from Elton John ("Candle in the wind" and Leonard Cohen ("I'm your man") representing. Talk about a letter to all the boys I've loved before.
Tayla Parx "Me vs. Us"
If you feel a little tingle of familiarity listening to Tayla Parx, that's because you've probably heard her work before. She's written tracks for some of the biggest stars in the game, including Alicia Keys, Janelle Monáe, Demi Lovato, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, and Nicki Minaj. But once you hear her sing, you'll wonder why she didn't keep those songs all for herself. This song is artfully produced to hit maximum pop crossover appeal; the vocal arrangement with its syncopated rhythm is a special standout. Her sartorial style is very early '90s, but her music is on the cutting edge of right now.
Courtney Marie Andrews "Heart and Mind"
Courtney Marie Andrews can pack a lot of emotion into a word. Plus, she can hold a note longer than most humans should be capable of. The moroseness in her voice is put to excellent use in this track, where she holds on to the words "weary" and "body" with a warble that will break your heart. The clarity of her voice is astounding, and she evokes some of the great voices of the past (Crystal Gayle or Anne Murray, anyone?) whose outsized talents modern country wouldn't know what to do with.
WAYI "Temporary"
This Belgian singer/songwriter may have just started her career, but I already can't wait to hear more. Her plainspoken lyrics are biting in the best way (especially "when I say that your love ain't real / it's trash"). The minimal music lets her vocal flow lead the track, something that's a hallmark in Soundcloud rap but that most artists have a hard time translating to other genres; that shift is part of what makes SZA's music so appealing. She also strikes a deft balance between a harsh track with light music that doesn't weigh it down, avoiding the trap of sounding dark or bitter while dealing cold truths.
Morgan Saint "On Fire"
There's something of a siren's call buried in this track from Morgan Saint. Sure, there are the literal siren-like noises at its start, but her languid, high delivery is surely the sound that would tempt a person into all sorts of misadventure. I love her definitively feminine sound and the way it's accentuated with those high-pitched beats that sound like the way skipping a rock on the surface of water look. You don't get the feeling of burning it all down from this track. Rather, it is the sound of a cool, slow, controlled burn.
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Speaking to the Washington Post, Christine Blasey Ford, a professor at Palo Alto University in California, detailed the alleged assault involving Kavanaugh. Ford describes the incident as having occurred in the early '80s during their high school years. During a party, Ford says that she and Kavanaugh were both drunk. At one point, Kavanaugh allegedly pinned her to a bed, groped her, and forcefully attempted to remove her bathing suit and the clothing she wore over it. He pressed his hand against her mouth to silence her when she screamed.
“I thought he might inadvertently kill me,” Ford told the Post. “He was trying to attack me and remove my clothing.”
The Post said results of a polygraph test administered by a former FBI agent, taken in August under the advice of Ford's lawyer, Debra Katz, indicated she was being truthful, and notes from Ford's therapist matched her story. Ford stated that she believes the incident contributed to anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. She said following the aftermath she thought, “I’m not ever telling anyone this. This is nothing, it didn’t happen, and he didn’t rape me.” But it left a lasting mark. “I think it derailed me substantially for four or five years,” she said to the Post.
Ford’s husband added, “Supreme Court nominees should be held to a higher standard.”
While Ford initially had no intention of coming forward publicly with her story, she wanted Kavanaugh’s history to be taken into account before a possible appointment to the Supreme Court. She initially reached out to the Post when it was reported that Kavanaugh was on the shortlist for a nomination; she also contacted her congresswoman, Democrat Anna G. Eshoo. In late July, she sent a letter to California Senator Dianne Feinstein’s office, the ranking Democrat on the Senate’s judiciary committee. Ford decided to publicly reveal her name and story after outlets including the New Yorker published reports on the incident.
On Friday, Republican Chuck Grassley of the judiciary committee released a letter from 65 women who reportedly knew Kavanaugh during his high school years, claiming that he “has treated women with respect.”
The White House responded to the Post ’s story with a statement Kavanaugh released the previous week: “I categorically and unequivocally deny this allegation. I did not do this back in high school or at any time.”
Refinery29 has reached out to the White House for comment and will update this story as more information becomes available.
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
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Interior design is tricky to get right. For many of us, living in rented accommodation means having to decorate around what's already in the room. This means that if some genius from yesteryear decided to put a sink in your living room then my goodness, you're just going to have to incorporate it as a coffee table or something.
If you own your own home and have free rein on how the decorating process unfolds, you'd better make sure your aesthetics are up to scratch. Because there's a new Instagram account out there and its mission is to showcase the biggest design disasters around.
In all honesty, you would have to go really left-field in order to end up on @pleasehatethesethings – the featured rooms have to be seen to be believed (toilet throne, anyone?). In fact, some of the rooms are so wild that there's a slim chance they might actually be fabulous.
Click through to pass your verdict.
The curtains on the wall say "operating theatre" while the furry carpeting screams "muppet massacre". It's a complicated set of themes to marry up and while this person hasn't quite managed it, everyone involved gets 10/10 for effort.
Is it going too far to say that this wallpaper, minus the matching sink and taps, is not the worst thing in the world? Chintz is back and, save for the padded hamper and hellish lighting, this might just be a fine example.
Some people might deal with a too-bright overhead light by purchasing a dimmer bulb; others choose to erect a parasol and make summer last all year round. The leaves may be falling outside, but it's piña colada time in here.
If eating off-brand cereal from a semi-clean bowl every morning is not where you want to be in life, consider installing a wildly ostentatious chandelier in your too-small kitchen to show everyone that, contrary to popular opinion, you are in fact very fancy indeed.
So was the dinosaur a hunting trophy too, or...?
This look outside, minus the bear? Very Don Draper during the California years. Marvellous. As your living room, though, it's more Roger Sterling mid-LSD trip.
"No man is an island. Except me. Because I sleep on one."
What did the goldfish do to deserve this?
Sex and the City has a lot to answer for: unrealistic expectations about sex, a generation of women's erratic behaviour in relationships, and an ongoing fetishisation of shoes. Stay safe, go barefoot.
Absolutely not.
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Industry heavyweights like Pat McGrath, Bobbi Brown and Laura Mercier have all left a lasting mark on the beauty sphere, but there's another pioneer worth noting. Having spent the last five years at NARS, leading the brand's senior makeup team across the UK and Ireland and serving up some serious looks, makeup artist Anna Priadka is stepping out on her own with debut beauty brand Makeup54. And when a renowned makeup artist uses their expertise to create their own line of products, rest assured that everything in that line will be worth your hard-earned cash.
Inspired by her love of disco, the unashamedly bold, vegan and sustainably packaged brand, which comprises some of the most Instagram-worthy lipstick shades we've ever seen, embodies the glittering glamour of the '70s and '80s and pays tribute to the style icons of the era. Refinery29 sat down with Anna to get a peek into what to expect...
You said Makeup54 was born on Instagram as an outlet for you to experiment with colourful looks. Was it always your intention to create products?
Definitely. It’s been a goal of mine for nearly a decade. I decided that I didn’t want to make money for anyone else, instead I wanted to make my own. I was quite late to the game with social media as I only created my profile in 2013, but I started seeing these really niche LA-based brands that I’d never heard of such as Jeffree Star and Natasha Denona and it gave me the idea of creating a brand via Instagram. Together with my friend, photographer Alice Luker, I started building a gallery of really bold makeup looks inspired by the '70s and '80s. Originally we based them on Andy Warhol’s Polaroids, with the idea of shooting the models against a stark white background, and it evolved from there. Part of it was taking a calculated risk, as there’s so much competition and I don’t want to be a quick win. Makeup54 is about creating an experience rather than just a great product that’s going to be in one day and out the next.
How have you taken your expertise as a NARS makeup artist and translated that into your own collection?
NARS has been a huge inspiration for me. It’s a brand that is so great at storytelling and François Nars creates incredible characters with his images – it’s not just boring makeup pictures which we’re seeing a lot of on Instagram lately. From an aesthetic point of view, I wanted to have a brand that had the same iconic feel and told stories through its imagery. Also having worked with NARS, I felt the pressure to create high-performance products. NARS' standard has given me the grounding for the standard I want for my own brand. I was quite lucky with my role at NARS because while I was the lead makeup artist managing a team of five artists, I was also head of events across the UK and Ireland. Because it was so small we were all really involved in each other's work and I was involved in all the sales and NPD (new product development) meetings, and that gave me the structure to sit behind a desk because as a creative I find that quite difficult!
Where did the name Makeup54 come from?
So Makeup54 alludes to Studio 54, as the whole collection is centred towards the late '70s and the disco movement. It plays into all the different groups that stepped out during the '70s and I want to bring the icons of the era to the audience of today. Makeup54 is all about being seen and not fading into the background. It says 'Here I am, I’ve arrived'.
Why did you decide to launch with lip products specifically?
So I decided to launch with four liquid matte lipsticks (and a lip topper) because they're products almost everyone wears. I love wearing liquid lipsticks and the matte boom hasn't slowed down. 'Lips' is the second biggest NPD category behind 'complexion' and lipstick is a little luxury that women can afford.
Great formulas are so important to professional makeup artists – how much input have you had in formulating the products?
I was heavily involved throughout the formulation process and the suppliers I’ve worked with have all said that they can tell I’m a makeup artist by the way I test products, colours and formulas and the feedback I give on them! I’ve come from a big brand, so people can expect something great. With Glitterball, our lip topper, a lot of the versions I was shown were just iridescent glosses and I was adamant that I wanted something different. The whole idea behind it was the Lipcote you’d see in the '80s, applied over lipsticks to seal in the colour. Of all the shades I looked into, rose gold was the only one that worked. A lot of the others were just solid gold which isn’t as wearable.
I decided to create two pink and two nude lipsticks, too. It was really important that they suited every skin tone. Gaynor, a caramel-nude, is amazing on darker skin tones but can be a strong autumn lip colour for lighter skin tones. I tested all five shades on all different skin tones, which is why it took me a while to develop the colours. I was also really conscious of the packaging for Makeup54. I wanted something that wasn’t a cardboard box. Instead, every lipstick comes in a recyclable foil bag with each recyclable component listed on the back. I want Makeup54 to be an ethical brand without losing the glamour of disco.
What makes Makeup54 different from any other brand you've worked with?
On Instagram, everyone is doing the same thing with the heavy highlighting and cut creasing. I don't just want to explode with these overly highlighted macro images, I want to do something different and you'll definitely see that in the imagery with its heavy nod to disco. Makeup54 is an Instagram brand and the aesthetic of the imagery is my sole focus.
What tips would you give to women who wear the same makeup again and again but are looking to experiment?
I always love experimenting with colour, especially a smoky eye – pairing dark colours with bright tones is one of the best ways to switch things up. I love a dark emerald green eye, or pairing a bright orange lid with a toned-down coppery shade, even using blush through the brow and around the temples. I use my bronzer all over around the temples and then lightly dust my blush over the top of it. The bronzer mutes the tone but you can still see that colour coming through without going overboard. Using a lilac shade on the temples looks especially gorgeous. I’m also a big fan of shading the socket with a bit of blush, swiping the lid with a touch of NARS Orgasm Blush and a coat of mascara.
What's the trick to pulling off glossy lids and making them last?
You know what, it's not possible to have a glossy eye that lasts all day. The extreme glossy eye I do on Makeup54 is for photography and involves layers and layers of Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream, which is great because there’s a lot less movement than with a gloss. But for a glossy lid for everyday, try just a finger swatch of the Eight Hour Cream on top of a really clean, flawless lid and a little mascara.
A lot of people now call themselves makeup artists on Instagram – do you think it’s too saturated? How can people stand out?
Your concept has to be original. People can see if you’re genuine and authentic and they can see past it if you’re not. To be a good makeup artist you have to be well rounded in everything. I always say if you can perfect a red lip, a liner, great skin and a great brow, then you’re on your way to being a great makeup artist. The problem with 'Instagram' makeup artists is that while the technique is epic, it's only one way of doing makeup and that gets me a bit because you get people like my younger sister looking at that and thinking that's the only way to do it. But I do think there is opportunity for change and the industry is starting to pick up on doing makeup a bit more naturally, particularly with brands like Glossier.
But also, as a makeup artist, I often found Fashion Week quite frustrating because there’ll be a 'no makeup makeup' look, and while I appreciate good skin, I used to travel across the Atlantic with a full kit and end up putting just moisturiser on the models, and I don’t think that’s realistic. I think Makeup54 was born out of that frustration. I was fed up with this extreme end of Instagram makeup and these women on the catwalk, but finding the perfect red or nude is a constant for everyone, no matter what the trends are. Makeup54 is a brand that sits in the middle of those two extremes.
You’ve mentioned you’re heavily inspired by the '70s and '80s, why is that?
Those decades were the most exciting for me in terms of what was happening in fashion, beauty and politics with things like the hippy movement, Studio 54 and those legendary venues that don't exist anymore. So many groups were emerging in the '80s with the rise of the supermodel, makeup artists and photographers, and more importantly, the '70s and '80s were two of the most important eras for change. There are so many icons I reference in my work, like Jerry Hall, Antonio Lopez, Chris von Wangenheim. I was also brought up on '70s music – my dad was a musician and my mum was really into her makeup. She always wore a massive smoky eye which I loved recreating on my dolls, and she always wore her blush around her temples, similar to how I do now. If you look at fashion shows back then, the models were so aspirational; it was so much more exciting and I think we’ve lost that.
What can we expect next from Makeup54? Will you be launching foundation?
The first year will mainly be about lips, with five other lipsticks launching soon. I’ve already picked the shades and colours so you might see disco purples and disco oranges. My vision for Makeup54 is to create the same colours in a variety of different textures. If you look at the most popular reds on the market for example, you’ve got Ruby Woo and Lady Danger by MAC, then Fenty Beauty's Stunna and NARS’ Mysterious Red and Dragon Girl – it’s usually the same kinds of shades that women come back to.
As for face products, there’s definitely a Makeup54 blusher in the works and I would like to launch complexion products eventually; it's just so important to get it right and offer a shade range that works for everybody. I’ve also got a lot of ideas for a recycling programme and developing the sustainability part of the brand and I'm revamping Makeup54’s Instagram page. I’ll be keeping the original images, as I know people love to scroll through, but it’s evolving and there will be more exciting things to come. There will be a SoundCloud channel linked to the page where we're going to post some really cool disco mixes, too!
According to a study, over 1.5 million of us work from home. When you add to that the freelancers, the side-hustlers and the students, that's a lot of people needing to fit a desk into their living space.
Unfortunately for most of us, that living space is very small indeed. And working from bed, as you probably know, isn't a great idea. Not only does it bring negative feelings that can be associated with work (like stress) into your sleep routine, there's also the very real possibility of, you know, falling asleep.
So is it possible to carve yourself out a workspace when your flat is more suited to a mouse than a full-size human being? Absolutely – read on to find out how.
Choose your desk carefully
Obviously any furniture you add to your pad will need to be tiny but don't just buy the tiniest desk you can find; buy one that really makes the most of the space it's in. This floating desk (£300) works well by not taking up any precious floor space, giving you extra room for storage and creating the illusion that your room is bigger than it really is.
You can even go one step further and get yourself a fold-down desk (£149). By day, this desk makes for a fine work area (with shelves!); by night, you can fold it away to give yourself an extra foot-and-a-bit of room space.
Ladder desks (£150) are also good for not intruding too far into the room, while corner desks (£183) make use of an area that all too often becomes dead space.
Look up for extra space
That great big blank wall above your desk is crying out for some storage. In fact, as any seasoned small-space dweller will tell you, that's exactly what walls are there for. A dramatic shelving unit such as this one(£78) placed just above eye level when you're sitting down makes for a stylish way to store books, folders and the rest.
If you don't want to make a statement, then something slim (and paintable) like this (£12) from IKEA barely makes an impact at all. Alternatively, wall cubes like these (£115) or shelves like these from Anthropologie (from £88) mean that the way you arrange your storage is up to you.
Suss out the lighting sitch
Desk lamps are cute and all, but they're going to take up a fair bit of space on your tiny desk. Instead, think about wall-mounted lamps – and no, not the kind that will mean re-routing all your wiring and drilling a sconce to the wall next to your desk. There are plenty of good-looking battery-operated wall-mounted lights to choose from. This one (£26.99).
Thankfully we do not live in an era where you need things like paper and files and the rest of it to get stuff done. Depending on your work (sorry IRL illustrators), you may only need a computer.
It's always a good idea to have some place to stash the bits that will inevitably end up on your desk, though. This wire tray (£9.99) is good for pens and other bits, ditto for this pen pot (£4).
Struggling a little in your quest to save money because you can't stop spending it? It's totally understandable.
See, social media is full of temptation. From influencers encouraging you to buy products, to targeted ads showing you clothes and beauty bits that the internet knows you like, it's a wonder you've got any money left at all.
So how about filling your feed with stuff that encourages you to save money? There are plenty of Instagram accounts out there based on saving, getting free stuff and good deals, and we've collected a few of our favourites together here to get you started.
Are we missing any? Let us know your favourite money-saving accounts in the comments.
LdnCheapEats
Just looking at London Cheap Eats' account is enough to make you hungry. The food featured looks divine.
Miguel Barclay's One Pound Meals is SO helpful for literally anyone that knows how to turn on an oven.
Each post is a delicious, healthy (some more than others), easy to cook recipe that costs – yep, you guessed it – £1 to make. Very useful on weekday evenings when you CBA to make any decisions about what to eat.
Living_Thrifty
Lisa and Steph live together in Manchester and are FULL of bright ideas about how to save money, make money and generally live an economically sound life. They're currently planning their wedding next year so are also posting their budget wedding tips.
A double hitter, this account is keen for followers to help save the planet and save money.
Love Food Hate Waste encourages people to throw less food away – either by cooking less or by using leftovers to create new dishes by featuring great recipes to cook healthy and hearty meals.
The Little Spender
Money Diary Facebook group member Bekki started this Instagram back in January and it's packed full of little ways to save money in the country's most expensive city, London.
From a hack to get 50% off Big Macs FOREVER (I know) to cool free things going on around the capital, it's a super helpful way to have fun without spending big bucks.
The Frugal Fox
If you're feeling a little overwhelmed by all the extreme couponing types in the money-saving Instagram world, Stoke-based Luci – a.k.a. The Frugal Fox – may be more up your street.
Yes, Luci is super organised and has plenty of money-saving tips, but she also understands the importance of splurging – providing it's worth it. Recent posts on investing in microblading for long-term ease and buying designer in order to look at quality over quantity are a breath of fresh air in the restrictive money-saving world.
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For many African children raised in Christian homes, there are certain topics kept hidden in the basement nobody dares enter. They come with warning signs reinforced by the fear of God, labelled devilish or barbaric. We overhear stories of family members who visited witch doctors, late grandparents who spoke through the vessels of their grandchildren and generational curses which can and must only be broken by the power of the holy spirit.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church established in Zimbabwe, where I was born. Although rooted in the Bible and the fundamental elements of Christianity, we spoke our own language (Shona) and upheld our own cultural traditions. We were a community in the truest sense of the word. But while I loved many things about our church, I could never shake the feeling of being trapped. I worried that my faith wasn't genuine but instead came from a fear of hell and damnation.
My family emigrated to the UK from Zimbabwe in 2000. My parents did a remarkable job of preserving our Shona language, traditions and general ways of life. I say remarkable because inhabiting the land of a nation which once colonised your own is no small feat. As Maureen Grundy wrote in her essay "Colonization and Christianity in Zimbabwe ": "Colonization of a land, of a people, brings with it many losses that are difficult, perhaps impossible, to rediscover when the nation finds freedom again."
Although I have only known a "free" Zimbabwe – the country gained independence in 1980 – I still feel the effects of colonisation. Namely the loss of our indigenous spiritual beliefs. Grundy’s essay points out that the colonisation of African countries in particular "has proved to be a disruption of traditional culture and an imposition of Western beliefs and values on longstanding indigenous customs and rituals."
"In post-colonial Africa," she continues, "the greatest, most overt legacy left by white settlers is religion […] With white domination of the African continent, the Christian faith took hold as the governing and superior theology. While countries have gained freedom from their oppressors, Christianity often remains as a central principle of African faith with any traditional spirituality existing peripherally."
At school in the UK, African history lessons began and ended with slavery, and at home, there was always an irreverence (read: denial) towards the spiritual beliefs of my ancestors, which suggested to me that they were myths not worth mentioning. Still, I remained curious, searching for what I felt was a missing link.
African literature has been essential to my efforts to learn about the belief systems that existed before Christianity became dominant. My reading began with mostly west African writers: Sobonfu Somé, Chinua Achebe, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and most recently, Akwaeke Emezi (who uses the pronouns they and she).
Emezi's debut novel, Freshwater, set to be published in the UK in November 2018, really resonated with me. Each page illuminated areas of my life. It felt like Emezi knew the missing element of my 'self' that I’d been seeking.
The main character of the novel is called Ada. Born in southern Nigeria "with one foot on the other side", Ada is Ọgbanje, an Igbo entity (a spiritual being akin to the people who mostly occupy southeastern Nigeria). In an article for BuzzFeed, Emezi writes that Ada's "core conflict was that she was embodied: that she existed, that she had selves, that she was several. I didn't know any other books by African writers that asked or answered the questions I was working with, but I very much wanted to find precedent." Ada’s conflict of "selves" is not a mental illness or a case of multiple personality disorder, but a spiritual conflict that cannot be defined in Western terms because it exists in an Igbo reality. Rooted in an African ontology, the book completely strips the "myth" from mythology. I found it thrilling and unsettling to read.
During a talk at the 2018 Africa Writes Festival in London, Emezi referenced their favourite quote by Toni Morrison: "I stood at the border, stood at the edge and claimed it as central. Claimed it as central, and let the rest of the world move over to where I was." By writing about spirituality before colonialisation and documenting this through Ada's transcendental coming-of-age story, Emezi has centralised her ancestors' stories and beliefs, giving them a place and relevance in the present day.
I am grateful to have this book, written so thoughtfully by an author who I came to know via Instagram some years ago. I grew to love Emezi's unapologetic presentation of self on social media: posting videos dancing to Soca music, documenting their natural hair journey, colourful outfits, beautiful travel pictures. In their work, I saw many facets of myself represented.
Emezi's social media presence drew me closer to the reality of the story, especially since it is autobiographical. It was the self-assurance I needed to finally accept that I no longer identify with Christianity. While I believe in divine power(s), there are just too many contradictions in Christianity for me – too much guilt, too many shackles, and a painful history I cannot ignore.
Rejecting so much of what I have known is a scary feeling; it risks hurting those who raised me. Inspired by writers like Emezi, I feel it’s time to rediscover my spiritual identity, starting with reading more relevant works by Zimbabwean/Bantu writers and embarking on a solo trip to Zimbabwe and South Africa, because there is only so much that west African writers can do to inform my existence.
I’m currently reading These Bones Will Rise Again by Zimbabwean writer Panashe Chigumadzi. There is a quote in the book which sums up my sentiments: "There are many questions and I am looking for answers. The kind of answers that slip past the facts of history books or analyses by pundits and experts. The answers I need are answers to politics that are about how we live, hope and dream, cry, laugh, pray and believe. As I search, I realise that if I want different answers, I need different questions. The kind that the Jairos Jiri Band is asking: 'Where was our ancestor spirit, our great ancestor, while we were suffering?'"
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Meghan Markle's first solo project as a member of the royal family has been revealed. The Duchess of Sussex is supporting a new charity cookbook written by women affected by the Grenfell Tower fire, Kensington Palace said in a statement on Monday.
The recipe book, Together: Our Community Cookbook, features over 50 recipes and celebrates "the power of cooking to bring communities together". Backed by The Royal Foundation and published by Penguin Random House, it will be released on Thursday 20th September and proceeds will go towards keeping the kitchen where the women first gathered in the wake of the fire open for up to seven days a week, and widening its reach to others in the community, the palace said.
The Duchess of Sussex is supporting a new charity cookbook, 'Together: Our Community Cookbook', which celebrates the power of cooking to bring communities together. #CookTogetherpic.twitter.com/XEclxgQjR4
In a promotional video posted by Kensington Palace on social media, the women of the Hubb Community Kitchen (Hubb means 'love' in Arabic), share the story of how they came together in a communal kitchen at the Al Manaar Muslim Cultural Heritage Centre in west London in the aftermath of the tragic fire.
The women originally gathered in the kitchen to prepare fresh food for their families, friends and neighbours, before beginning to cook together and share recipes as a community. "Word spread and more women joined in – this was the start of the Hubb Community Kitchen," the palace said.
Markle explains how she became involved in the project when she moved to London in January this year. "I immediately felt connected to this community kitchen. Like these women, I’m passionate about food and cooking as a way of strengthening communities." Given her own love of food, and previous life as a lifestyle blogger who frequently shared her favourite recipes and restaurants, Together seems like a natural first project for the new royal.
"Melding cultural identities under a shared roof, it creates a space to feel a sense of normalcy – in its simplest form, the universal need to connect, nurture, and commune through food, through crisis or joy – something we can all relate to," Markle said. "Through this charitable endeavour, the proceeds will allow the kitchen to thrive and keep the global spirit of community alive."
The book's publisher describes the book's contents as "simple Eastern Mediterranean, Middle Eastern and North African recipes, many of which have been handed-down through generations, honed and perfected over the years".
The Royal Foundation hopes Together will sell 50,000 copies and make £250k, which will be invested straight back into the kitchen.
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Ashish’s London Fashion Week shows are always a highlight on the schedule, not only for his signature sequin-soaked pieces, but thanks to his ability to transform a catwalk and transport his audience to wherever his head is at that season, be it a midnight market or dreamlike nightscape.
For SS19, we were invited to an all-night rave, complete with a sticky club carpet as the catwalk, models snogging and dancing on podiums, and a thumping soundtrack fit for Berghain. By the end of the show, the models, who began with damp slicked-back hair, were soaked, with water – sorry, sweat – dripping down their necks and shoulders, proving that Ashish’s girl has the stamina to reach for the lasers until the very early hours.
Ashish is known for his slogans, and often uses them to make a statement about the current political climate. Past favourites include "Love & Devotion", a positive message in the wake of the Brexit referendum and resulting rise in racially motivated attacks, and "Good Mourning", a decidedly darker note that reflected the worrying landscape we found ourselves in under Trump and the ever-present threat of nuclear war.
This season, he played with love – or rather, lust – in the digital age, with a peach hoodie reading "Send Nudes" in glitter, and a mint green one emblazoned with "S&M: Sex And Magic". While these pieces are surely collector's items – and Instagram catnip – for Ashish’s dedicated following, it was his trademark sparkle that stole the show.
Photo: Courtesy Of AshishPhoto: Courtesy Of Ashish
Capturing the essence of the '00s club scene, we were treated to sequin spaghetti-strap camis, lurid-green sparkling bikini tops and low-slung sparkling trousers. The piece that had show-goers most excited was a pistachio ice-cream jumpsuit, which gathered at the wrists and ankles, and had a fluidity reminiscent of bodies on the dance floor.
Ashish’s shows are never without a political undercurrent, so what was the message this season? With exposed bottoms in sequin thongs and mini dresses with deep V necklines sitting alongside his podium couples, kissing and moving their bodies in sync with the music, the whole show felt very sex-positive, joyful and escapist. Perhaps Ashish was showing us club culture as defiance, as hedonistic liberation from the troubles of the outside world. As for us? We’ll meet you on the dance floor.
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So you know what it's like to grace the FROW thanks to fashion writer Georgia Murray, but working behind the scenes as a beauty editor is very different. On backstage duty, you're ushered in through a secret entrance and shooed out before the show begins. Somewhere in between arriving and being ejected by security, you're expected to have chatted to the makeup artists and hairstylists to garner the inspiration behind the finished hair and makeup looks, noted down all the products used and taken some non-blurry pictures for the 'gram. Sure, there's sometimes swanky cars, free food, makeovers and major fangirl moments (as well as industry legends, the designers and their celebrity friends hang out backstage, too) but it's not all glitz and glam. Here's everything I did, saw and ate on day three of London Fashion Week SS19.
5.05am
After just four hours' sleep, I wake up thinking about skipping makeup, save for a quick brow brush... but who am I kidding? I end up applying a full face of foundation, bright red lipstick, bronze eyeshadow and lashings of Bar of Gold Highlighter, £49, gifted to me by Charlotte Tilbury who did the makeup for Temperley London yesterday – I'm a beauty ed, after all. I throw on my trusty boiler suit and Vans (flats, always flats) but don't notice the stain on the leg until later; ah, well. I know it's stupid o'clock, but backstage access opens well in advance in order to prep the models, and this morning, I'm off to Victoria Beckham (eeee!). Thanks to Foreo, who are prepping the skin for makeup, I don't have to walk to the station in the dark. Instead, I slip into a cushty car, which whizzes me all the way from east London to the venue, Galerie Thaddaeus Ropac, in Mayfair.
Photo: Jacqueline Kilikita
7am
I meet the PR and a few beauty editor friends outside, and half of us are given wristbands to enter the venue, which is seriously swanky – can I live here? Halfway up the marble stairs, I bump into the legendary Pat McGrath but there's no time to waste and she shoos me up to get the models ready. Contrary to Pat's signature style, the makeup is minimal, save for some bronzer, highlighter and gloss on the lids. The backstage area is absolutely rammed and all the journalists feel awkward, standing in the way of the professional hairstylists and makeup artists. One pro comments that we're a nuisance but the lovely Marian Newman, manicurist and CND brand ambassador, sticks up for us. We're doing our job, too! It looks like the models have already raided the free food table, so I settle on a packet of pineapple chips (gross) and take a few pictures of the half-finished look before being ushered out. The rest of the group are still outside and managed to spot VB herself walking in. I'm a bit gutted.
8.30am
I need to wake up, so I walk 30 minutes to Preen By Thornton Bregazzi at Lindley Hall in Pimlico to meet the girls at ghd, who are on hair with the legend that is hairstylist Eugene Souleiman. I catch the start of his hair presentation, which is actually for the stylists, but there's no harm in crashing. Being 5ft nothing, it's difficult to see much, and it goes on for half an hour – my feet are killing me already. This place is even smaller than the last, and on my way out I get crushed by a line of models on the stairs, knock a bottle of nail varnish out of a manicurist's hand and drop my coffee.
Unlike the FROW, backstage life isn't very glitzy, but it's where the creativity happens. I spy makeup artist Val Garland, fangirl for a few seconds, compose myself and take my show notes. The freckled look she created was inspired by Gypsy girls in the sun and she rather cleverly used a sponge to speckle pigment onto the girls' faces for a ruddy, believable finish. She shows me her mood board and I finally get all I need. This morning's looks are really pared back, so I scroll through my camera roll and recap on yesterday's. For Gareth Pugh, Val Garland and Syd Hayes covered this model's head in plasters (below). Weird, but actually pretty cool.
9.30am
My next show – Ashish - is at 5.30 at the BFC on The Strand so I debate going home, but choose to head back in the direction of the office (I can't face the Central Line there and back) and grab breakfast at Ozone on Old Street, instead. I remember I accidentally skipped my porridge so as not to be late, so I compensate and order the Big Brekkie with all the extras, a latte and a juice – I need my energy. I never usually go to restaurants, cafés or bars on my own because it makes me feel a bit awkward, but I suck it up and remember that if I'm confident enough to get in actual Pat McGrath's way while she's doing makeup, I can eat breakfast by myself. I update my London Fashion Week SS19 beauty gallery with the looks from Preen and Victoria Beckham and do a little Instagram stalking. The thing about heading backstage is that you're at the shows before the fashion pack arrives, so you miss all the amazing outfits.
12pm
I've done all the work I can until Ashish and I've got a whole five hours to kill, but I'm so thankful because yesterday, I attended eight shows back to back, from 7am to 7pm, and couldn't feel my legs (or remember my own name) when I got home. Luckily, a journo pal of mine had a car and her driver (shoutout to Karl for getting us there and back safely) let me tag along for a few shows. Despite the traffic, aching limbs and most probably severe dehydration, I didn't miss a single one.
I head back into the office to catch Georgia working on her show report. We haven't seen each other at all, because when I leave a show backstage, she arrives to watch it, so it's nice to catch up on gossip from Alexa Chung 's party the night before.
3pm
At 3pm, I decide to head over to The Strand to see if I can get in early. Thanks to LFW, I've got a pass that gives me access to the BFC VIP area, so I can people-watch (probably my favourite thing about fashion week after meeting all the legendary makeup artists and hairstylists IRL), and raid the fridge. Yep, I'm hungry again. By the time I get there, there's no food left, so I make a Pret dash next door, and you guessed it, there's no food there, either. I settle on a gingerbread man and text my brother and ask him to buy something green on his way home from work because all I've eaten is beige food.
4pm
Outside the BFC, I dodge the photographers taking pictures of a few influencers (my jumpsuit is super tatty, stained and my Vans just as awful) but no one really cares what you wear backstage and comfort is key. No other journalists are here yet, but I feel quite savvy to have arrived early. At Halpern yesterday, the MAC team, headed up by Isamaya Ffrench, were so speedy with makeup, I pretty much missed it all and had to hassle a model for a quick picture as she lined up to head out onto the catwalk. Obviously, I got told off by security.
I make my way into the backstage area and it's the size of a shoebox. A security guard has a go at me for not wearing my wristband properly but his tone is unnecessarily rude, so I snap back – everyone's stressed out. Makeup artists and hairstylists are losing their shit at journalists and photographers for getting in the way but I plonk myself in the corner and wait for an hour and a half for the finished look – I know it involves lots of colour, so I'm not going anywhere until I get a picture. My reluctance to leave means I miss the call time for my next show, Peter Pilotto, but another journalist and I promise to swap notes post-show. This is actually really rare because it feels like all press are out for themselves at fashion week, which I hate. Technically, we're all in this together...
Photo: Jacqueline Kilikita
6pm
I finally make my way out of there and head home. It's Sunday night, so the Tube is pretty empty. I treat myself to a cab home instead of walking – my feet probably wouldn't be able to get me very far anyway, they're shredded.
9pm
I have a shower, change into pyjamas and slip into bed but I want to write up all my show notes and update my gallery, because no one has yet reported on Victoria Beckham, Preen or Ashish, arguably today's biggest shows, and I'd like to get in there first. I close my eyes for a few moments and open them to a message from another journalist telling me how brilliant R29's social coverage on each show has been, and this gives me a second wind to write. I've been MIA to my family and friends for four days and get a funny text from my best friend asking where the hell I've got to, then another completely spoiling Bodyguard. FFS.
10pm
I set my alarm for 6am the following morning for the Roksanda show but I don't get to sleep 'til around 1am because I can't stop thinking about a pair of white trainers I saw a girl wearing outside one of the shows. I need them now. I should have asked her where she got them from, but I was so tired, I couldn't even speak, so I end up googling shoes for ages, catching up on news for tomorrow's meeting, which I'll miss but want to be prepared for anyway, before falling asleep with my laptop on the pillow next to me.
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There are some names in fashion who just stand out. Mario Sorrenti is one of them.
The Italian fashion photographer has lensed some of the industry's most iconic images, mostly all in grayscale, and was a key role launching Kate Moss to supermodeldom status. The two met on a job in London when they were both models; they epitomized the epic '90s love story. He'd go on to shoot the photographs that would inspire the Obsession campaign for Calvin Klein (which has since been reimagined by current creative director Raf Simons). And now, thanks to his latest book, Kate, those images — among 50 other never-before-seen photographs from their relationship — are being published.
But why now? "A little over five years ago, my wife was organising my archive and she came across all the pictures and old contact sheets," Sorrenti tells Refinery29. "She brought them to my attention and was like, You should really do something with it." So he did. Sorrenti worked with former Barneys New York creative director Dennis Freedman to get publisher Phaidon on board. Though she didn't have a hand in editing or its design, Sorrenti says Moss was "very cool" with the project. "I spoke with Kate three years ago, and I said, Listen, I’ve found all these pictures of you and we’d like to do a book of all the photos. She loved them all."
In its foreword, Sorrenti recalls his À bout de souffle -style meeting of the then-undiscovered Moss. "I remember sitting next to her and feeling like my heart was going to stop," he writes. "I was completely overwhelmed by her charm and beauty. When the shoot ended, I didn't think I would see her again. Several weeks later, by chance, I met her at a party in South Kensington. We hung out all night, walking into the early morning until we fell asleep in the grass in Hyde Park. We spent the next two years together; we were inseparable." The book sees Moss laid bare — mostly because she's naked in more than half of the photographs. But because the pictures are so intimate, unlike anything else published of the supermodel, it's as if you shouldn't be looking at them; a pure, honest dedication.
Photo: Courtesy of Phaidon.
Every shot in the book was captured on film. Sorrenti, the type of photographer who embraces his art in all forms, reflects on the impact technology has had on imagery. "It’s gotten to the point where things have gotten so fast and sped up that it’s becoming difficult to keep up with the demands of digital photography and social media; the world consumes images at a frightening rate," he says. "That’s very different today than it was at the time I took those pictures. There was no internet, there was no social media, there was no cell phones — it was analog photography. If I was going to shoot a roll of film, it was a roll of film. Each image was considered. I didn’t just shoot off hundreds of pictures to get the shot like people do today."
He continues: "People are constantly taking pictures of things — the ground, the inside of their pocket, buildings — and we have a completely different relationship with photography today than we did 20 years ago. Back then, it was something that was a craft that you really had to learn. You had to read light, and [learn how to] expose, you had to get a camera and lenses, etc. So today, people just take it for granted. Taking pictures is so easy today — you just pick up your phone and take a picture. It’s a completely different process."
Photo: Courtesy of Phaidon.
Asked whether there was a Kate Moss of the millennial sort, he doesn't mince words. "I don’t think there’s anybody today that reminds me of Kate. And I don’t think there ever will be," he says, underscoring the idea that there can only be one. "Today, everybody’s taking pictures of themselves. Everybody’s doing selfies. Every model is so conscious of what photography, and modelling, and being photographed is in a way that didn’t exist when Kate and I were taking pictures in the early years."
He continues: "The thing about Kate at that time, which is very different from anybody of today, is that Kate wasn't aware of it. That innocence to the medium, and to it all, to life — I don’t know if it could possibly exist anymore."
Kateby Mario Sorrenti is out now, via Phaidon ($100).
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Earlier this year, Lara Frank*, a copywriter for a large tech company, wrote an email to her boss trying to clarify a miscommunication. Frank edited her email to remove superfluous exclamation marks — something she had struggled with overusing in the past — and pressed send. Soon after, Frank’s boss approached her and said the email she had sent was “sarcastic and sassy” and suggested she work on her communication skills. “I was pretty pissed,” Frank said. “We have a lot of people on our team that are very blunt — much more than this — and they had never, to my knowledge, gotten a talking to.”
Unfortunately, Frank is not the only person who has found themselves in a similar predicament. The conversation around workplace punctuation has become increasingly common, with many debating the contentious issue. However, the situation is more complicated for some than for others.
Exaggerated use of exclamation marks has often been coded as a feminine habit, something used for a myriad of reasons, whether to soften an email or appear enthusiastic, engaged, or approachable. But it can also be seen as unprofessional and can, therefore, perpetuate women's struggles in the workplace. Conversely, though, women are also quicker to be reprimanded for perceived sternness. Because of this, the situation presents a false dichotomy: Either use too many exclamation marks and risk being labeled ‘too nice’ (or, worse, incompetent and inexperienced), or don’t use enough of them and be thought of as rude, sarcastic, or a bitch.
This issue widely and primarily affects women, though non-cisgender men across the gender spectrum are also affected by a gamut of gendered expectations and discrimination in the workplace. However, women in particular have been intensely socialised to please—something Frank said has become abundantly clear in her efforts to curb her excessive niceness in the workplace. "It’s a battle between being too friendly or not friendly enough," Frank told Refinery29. "It takes twice as long to do anything because you’re constantly checking over everything."
Frank feels there is a gendered double standard when it comes to workplace communication — and she’s not the only one. Lauren Chassebi, a digital PR professional and freelance writer, agrees with Frank that gender dictates communication expectations in professional settings. “Women do have to work a little bit harder to be taken seriously in the workplace than men do,” Chassebi said. “Any little things that we do can make people view us as unprofessional.”
After sending a ‘stern’ email, I’ve spent time afterwards anxiously waiting for the reply, worried that I’d be told what I said was disrespectful or aggressive.
“It's really easy for people to perceive a message wrong when it's written down and can be read in any way [or] voice,” said Chassebi. “It's quite anxiety inducing to send an email and not know how the person on the other end is going to receive it. I think that's why I like using ‘!!’ so much — it makes what you're seeing seem a little more lighthearted, so it's less likely to offend anyone in my head.”
Indeed, that inner voice can spur a whirlwind of anxiety and second-guessing. “After sending a ‘stern’ email, I’ve spent time afterwards anxiously waiting for the reply, worried that I’d be told what I said was disrespectful or aggressive and that I was compromising the rapport by not being kind or warm enough,” said writer and photographer Maria Montega*.
For Montega, like many, this anxiety has sometimes led to a frenzied determination to find the perfect tone. “When I’m drafting an email, striking the right balance is difficult because with sounding too excited or passive comes the risk of not being taken seriously or appearing incompetent. If I’m too direct, I risk sounding indifferent or aggressive,” Montega said. “I often edit an email several times until my tone falls somewhere between.”
Given this double-bind of workplace communication etiquette, what’s a woman to do? Lisa Benger, a psychotherapist who works with young professional women, recognises that a lot of these patterns are external manifestations of internal struggles that many women have, particularly the battle to find the voice they want to put out in the world. Thus, in order to find ways to cope with this complicated situation, women must begin by looking within.
“Everyone thinks there’s all these little strategies we can do, but in my work the strategy comes when you feel the confidence,” Benger told Refinery29. “I have worked with a lot of women on finding what’s comfortable for them. A lot of women start to realise that they have a much stronger voice than they let on.”
Women should be mindful of who their audience is, Benger says, but not so mindful that they sacrifice what they are trying to get across. Further, she finds that navigating the workplace — or any other situation — requires stepping into your own power. That way, “when you’re writing the email that inner voice [is] to be able to say: No, I have a right to say this.” But, Benger admits, finding that voice takes a lot of time.
In addition to the inner work women must continue to do, Frank hopes that workplaces will do more to meet them halfway, particularly managers and those in positions of power. “They have to keep asking themselves at every communication opportunity: How would I be reacting to this if it was a man talking to me like this?” Frank said. “Because I think if you took away our names from the top of any email, there would be huge difference in perception.”
It’s clear that this isn’t all just about punctuation. After all, periods and exclamation marks are just the tip of the very large iceberg that is gender inequality.
According to interpersonal communication and body language expert Dr. Lillian Glass, women should also consider alternative, more old-school communication tactics in order to avoid misinterpretation. She believes that, whenever possible, important professional conversations should be had face-to-face. “Even after you write something you might want to put in a phone call to clarify something or touch base,” Dr. Glass suggested. “You can misinterpret too much of the written word, and people are judging and miscommunicating every minute of the day.”
Regardless of how this issue manifests, it’s clear that it is something that has profound psychological effects on many women in the workplace. And yet, it’s isn’t just about punctuation. After all, periods and exclamation marks are just the tip of the very large iceberg that is gender inequality.
Ultimately, Benger finds the issue all boils down to women’s commitment to being unapologetically straightforward — without sugarcoating, softening, or curbing that directness. She recommends that women work consciously in order to stand more comfortably in their power. Despite the fact that doing so can be seen as bitchy or rude, Benger hopes women will remember that they are fully entitled to do so. “It’s just being direct,” Benger said. “It can be very neutral — it doesn’t mean bad or mean or wrong, it’s just direct.”
* Name has been changed
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Asia Argento is standing by her claim that she didn't engage in sexual misconduct with a minor. In a tweet sent early Monday morning, the actress tweeted that she may take legal action against former friend Rose McGowan, who publicly ended their friendship after actor Jimmy Bennett accused Argento of sexually assaulting him when he was 17. Argento has consistently denied Bennett's allegations and has since accused him of sexually attacking her and harassing her for money.
"Dear @RoseMcGowan. It is with genuine regret that I am giving you 24 hours to retract and apologise for the horrendous lies made against me in your statement of August 27th," Argento wrote. "If you fail to address this libel I will have no option other than to take immediate legal action."
Dear @RoseMcGowan. It is with genuine regret that I am giving you 24 hours to retract and apologise for the horrendous lies made against me in your statement of August 27th. If you fail to address this libel I will have no option other than to take immediate legal action.
Reps for McGowan and Argento didn't immediately respond to Refinery29's request for comment, and McGowan has yet to respond publicly to Argento's tweet.
In a statement released to Refinery29 in August, McGowan explained that she first learned of Argento's alleged behaviour through her partner, Rain Dove, whom she claimed had text messages proving that the Italian actress admitted to having sex with Bennett. (McGowan also claimed Bennett had sent Argento "unsolicited nudes" when he was 12.) McGowan also said that she fully supported Dove taking these texts to the police, despite believing that they could derail the #MeToo movement.
"There absolutely should be no leeway or tolerance for sexual assault. Hard stop. NONE," she continued in her statement. "Victims also shouldn't be told how they should react or what they should say about their abusers. However as allies to the victim and voyeurs of an event we should find a better way to balance support of the victim with due process for the accused."
She concluded her statement with a call for Argento to "be the person you wish Harvey could have been."
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
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Whatever stage you're at in life, there's always room for improvement, whether that's by spending more quality time with family, starting a side hustle or simply getting more sleep. But it's hard enough balancing work with a social life in your 20s without having to strive to be #flawless as well.
So it's encouraging and heartening to glean nuggets of life advice from women who've made it out the other side of the tumultuous decade.
On Sunday, Professor Nyasha Junior (@NyashaJunior) posted a callout for life advice on Twitter and it's inspired women in their 40s to take stock of their lives and pass on their sagest wisdom to their twentysomething selves.
If you are a 40+ woman, what one piece of advice would you give to your 20-something self? pic.twitter.com/igZCFoFsAP
The self-help industry is flourishing – with manuals available about everything from mindful drinking and stopping smoking to overcoming mental health issues and streamlining your possessions – but life is short and there aren't enough hours in the day to get through them all.
So thanks to the fortysomething women of Twitter for these pearls of wisdom and insight. If you take nothing else from their words, at least think about listening to the countless women who recommended adding sunscreen to your skincare routine.
On love and heartbreak
“Bad boys” are not fun or sexy. They’re actually bad people and will hurt you in some way shape or form.
Never chase anyone who doesn’t want you. Not a job, not a love interest - you will always be begging for their attention. Go where you’re wanted, make your own opportunities, and never wait for someone to ask you to do what you want to do. Don’t forget your worth!
Spend time with the people you love, especially elderly family members. They will be gone before you realize it. Listen to their stories, remember them, and tell your children or others those wonderful stories.
Write your name on the bottom of every document you produce at work, when volunteering and keep a copy for yourself. Keep track of every accomplishment, no one else will.
Learn your strengths and design a life where you use them everyday. Get liberated from the myth of well-roundedness. Find your edge, sharpen it, and then use it to craft a life you love.
Follow that feeling that something is a yes or no. You can use all the fucking logic and heart and degrees and whatever bullshit. There is something in the body. The gut. Maybe God or ancestors or whatever but stop and listen on those big life choices.
Find the energy to love yourself first. Don't look for love in men, friends or children you're not ready to have. Save more money. Exercise more and eat better foods.
1) You look great. Right now. Just like this. 2) If someone makes you feel bad about yourself for something that hurts no one, you do not need that person in your life. 3) Ask directly for the work opportunities you want. Your boss can't read your mind.
You will find love, but first make friends with your body, your talent, and your face. Live alone, find yourself, be at peace with your past. Only then will you be ready for your soulmate. You’ve got time girlie!
Never chase anyone who doesn’t want you. Not a job, not a love interest - you will always be begging for their attention. Go where you’re wanted, make your own opportunities, and never wait for someone to ask you to do what you want to do. Don’t forget your worth!
Question the story you’ve told yourself about yourself. Try things, even if you’ve told yourself you won’t like it or won’t be good at it. Save $ every paycheck, even if it’s only $10.
Late on Sunday night, New York Magazine published a controversial profile of Soon-Yi Previn, which claimed to upset the narrative that has been put forward for decades about her fraught relationship with adopted mother Mia Farrow and husband Woody Allen.
But after reading the piece, full of salacious details about Previn’s dislike for her mother, insight into how her and Allen’s controversial romance began, and her views on the accusations being levelled against him by biological daughter Dylan Farrow, I don’t feel like my opinion of the situation has changed. In fact, it feels like we remain at the same impasse we were in 26 years ago, when news leaked that Allen was leaving his longtime girlfriend Farrow for Previn.
It’s the first time in over two decades that the 47-year-old Previn has weighed in on the scandals in her orbit since 1992 – when Farrow discovered nude photographs of the then-21-year-old, taken by Allen, who was then in his 50s. It’s a messy story, and one that has only gotten more complicated in light of the accusations levelled at Allen by Dylan, who claims he molested her when she was 7 years old that same year. (Allen has denied all abuse and molestation allegations. The Connecticut State’s Attorney investigated, but did not press charges, and in 1993, the New York Department of Social Services dropped its inquiry into the matter, citing “no credible evidence.”)
As a result, many complex issues that aren’t necessarily related have been mashed up together in one big family dispute worthy of its own season of Succession, and over the years, have given rise to the following questions: Did Allen, who first met Previn when she was 10 years old, groom her for a relationship? Did he also molest Dylan, an act indicative of a pattern of abusive behaviour? Did Farrow’s alleged neglect of her adopted daughter leave her so desperate for a kind word that she jumped into bed with the first person to pay her any attention? Did Farrow to some extent coach Dylan in what to say in order to exact revenge upon Allen? Some of these could be true, or none of them, or all of them simultaneously — the point is, we don’t know, and this profile does nothing to clear things up.
Fast-forward nearly a year post-#MeToo, and in light of her husband’s marked decrease in popularity, Previn decides to speak her piece to Daphne Merkin, a reporter who by her own account has “been friends with Allen for over four decades.” The question of whether or not this flies in the face of journalistic integrity is valid. Yes, Merkin’s relationship with her subjects is briefly disclosed, but that doesn’t do much to counter the bitter taste that’s left after reading obsequious descriptions of a man accused of sexually assaulting his daughter. We never find out how Merkin met Allen, nor whether or not she had overcome any misgivings or feelings of her own about the allegations against him.
On the other hand, it’s unclear that anyone else would have gotten the kind of access to Allen and Previn that Merkin does in this piece — although again, that does reinforce the narrative that she was handpicked to get their point across. Mia Farrow, for her part, has told her side of the story in two stories written for Vanity Fair by Maureen Orth, although Orth has never claimed to be friends with her. It doesn’t help that Merkin was also the author of a New York Times op-ed that many took to be dismissive of the #MeToo movement.
There is no inherent problem in hearing from Previn. She’s allowed to share her story, even if it’s not the one we’d like to hear. (The profile does reiterate and solidify the fact that, despite broad misconceptions, Allen never acted as a surrogate father to Previn.) But though the headline promises to introduce us to this woman who has been shrouded in secrecy for so long, the fact is that most of the story is focused on her relationship with Allen — with Allen often weighing in himself. The story describes him sitting next to Previn during many of the interviews conducted, and even features descriptions of their hand holding, presumably meant to endear them to readers as a cute, very much in love couple. Personally, I just found it frustrating, yet another example of Soon-Yi’s voice being stifled by the people around her, even in the one story that purports to allow her to reclaim her voice. (It’s even called “Introducing Soon-Yi Previn.”) The little we do learn of her personality — her wry humour, her strong convictions — is interesting, but it’s lost in the larger story that looms over her.
The fact that Farrow and Allen’s son Ronan, who has built his career as a journalist exposing the sexual assault patterns of powerful men (including Harvey Weinstein and Les Moonves), has issued a statement condemning the story, muddies the waters even further. Dylan Farrow has stuck to her story over the years. In 2014, she wrote an open letter published in the New York Times with details of her alleged assault. In the aftermath of the allegations against Harvey Weinstein, and the wave of women coming forward to share their own stories of sexual harassment and assault, Farrow wrote an op/ed in the Los Angeles Times pointing out that one man remained unscathed: her father. In January, she sat for her first on camera interview and recounted the events to Gayle King.
We’ve now heard this story from every possible angle. Even the damning quotes by Moses Farrow, Farrow and Allen’s adopted son, are nothing new. In May, he published a nearly 4,700 word blog post defending his father, and accusing Farrow of emotional abuse. And still, each camp remains intransigently entrenched in their position. If you believe Dylan, this story is unlikely to have changed your perspective. If you believe that we should separate Allen’s art from his personal behaviour, you’re probably gearing up for a re-watch of Annie Hall. If you believe it's possible for a relationship that began with an off-kilter power balance and baggage to survive and evolve into an enduring marriage of equals, then you might think the handholding is sweet. If you believe that it’s possible that Farrow could be a terrible mother to at least some of her children, and also that Allen could be guilty of the accusations against him, you’re probably in the majority.
Rather than upset the narrative, all this profile has done is dredge up the same old tangled, convoluted drama once again. And with no clear answer in sight, we’ll probably be having this very conversation again very soon.
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Contrary to earlier reports, Instagram is not rolling out a standalone IG Shopping app just yet. However, the company is making some updates to shopping that show its focus on e-commerce is only getting stronger.
First up is an expansion to shopping in Stories: After testing shopping stickers in Stories this past June, Instagram is releasing the feature globally. The stickers will show either a standalone shopping bag icon or a shopping bag icon with the full name of the product, and you can tap on them to get more information on what someone is wearing. (These are similar to the product tags you already see in posts on your feed.) You can't buy the product on Instagram (at least, not yet), but you can click on a link to the store's website to buy it there.
This update isn't revolutionary, but it does mean the test was a successful one and that people are using the tool to shop within Stories. According to Instagram, one-third of the most-viewed Stories are those posted by businesses, so this could be a major asset for smaller companies that are doing the bulk of their sales on the app.
The second, more exciting announcement coming out of today's shopping update is a new, dedicated shopping channel in Explore. Instagram redesigned the Explore feed earlier this year to include category tags along the top of the page (i.e. style, humour, food), as well as a more personalised "for you" category that curates your experience to include posts you might like based on who you follow and the types of posts you tend to click on.
Given the discovery element of Explore, it makes sense to introduce shopping here. You'll see it listed along with the other categories at the top of the Explore feed, and you can click to find new brands and products that might pique your interest. For anyone who is already shopping on Instagram — whether through posts or scarily on-point ads in their feed — this promises to be an easier way to have the same experience in one section of the app. It also makes shopping on Instagram more intentional, rather than being something you're inadvertently pulled into while scrolling through your feed.
The shopping channel in Explore will start rolling out today and will continue to expand in coming weeks.
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Planning A Wedding With Cancer Proves That Life Is Golden
No request is too big and no intricate detail is too small when it comes to the "Big Day." But why do we get married the way we do?World Wide Wedexplores the customs and traditions that define weddings around the globe — and shows how today's multi-cultural couples are making their ceremonies uniquely their own.
In this week's episode of World Wide Wed, we're visiting Berlin, Germany, where Dominique and Ariel, a couple who met on Tinder, threw a unique wedding under tough circumstances. Dominique is in the midst of battling stage four lung cancer, which is what ultimately spurred her and Ariel to plan their big dream wedding in just two months.
Despite the difficult diagnosis and uncertainty about what the future holds for them, Dominique and Ariel's big day was full of joy. The bridesmaids didn't walk down the aisle, they danced. Guests took turns showing off special performances that drew on their different cultures — Afro-Cuban and Israeli, to name a few.
"[Dominique] told me that this wedding is about reminding everyone that we're alive right now and that we have the make every moment count and to be happy to be alive. I think that's what she wanted all her friends to feel," the bride's sister Genuwine said of the day. In order to create a wedding that doubled as a celebration of life, the couple chose a "living your life is golden" theme for the ceremony and reception. Gold decor, clothing, and face paint were meant to remind the wedding party and guests what a special gift life is.
Press play above to see how Dominique and Ariel created a wedding that was all about healing and happiness.
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The next iteration of The Girl in the something something is coming, and it's bringing twists with it. Claire Foy is the new Lisbeth Salander, the woman who hurts men who hurt women in The Girl in the Spider's Web. In the newest trailer, which dropped today, Lisbeth is busy being her mean self (she has tattoos, a mean haircut, and wears leather!) when she is duped by a man who recruits her for a decoy task. And there's the spider's web: Lisbeth is suddenly entrapped in a scheme much bigger than herself, and it all leads back to her sister.
Foy is the third woman to take on the Lisbeth role, following Noomi Rapace and Rooney Mara, who played her in earlier iterations. This movie is also The Girl in the Spider's Web, based on the first book not to be written by the series' original author Stieg Larsson, who died of a heart attack in 2004. The fourth in the Millennium series, the book carries on Lisbeth's legacy the way James Bond films carry on his.
The Girl in the Spider's Web also stars Stephen Merchant, Lakeith Stanfield, Vicky Krieps, Cameron Britton, whom you may recognise from Netflix's Mindhunter, and one gravity-defying leap into a bathtub. (There is no way a real person would survive that!) Watch the full second trailer, below.
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Yesterday, The Washington Post reported that Christine Blasey Ford is the author of the confidential letter accusing Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump's Supreme Court nominee, of sexual assault. In the '80s, when Ford andKavanaugh were teens, she alleges that he pinned her to a bed at a house party, groped her over her clothing, and tried to remove her bathing suit and clothes. At one point, she alleges he put his hand over her mouth when she tried to scream. "I thought he might inadvertently kill me," she told the Post. In a statement from the White House last week, Kavanaugh said he "categorically and unequivocally" denies the allegation.
When Ford, a research psychologist and professor at Palo Alto University in Northern California, first approached the Post with her story in early July, she intended to keep her identity concealed, because she feared how the public news would impact her life and family. But when the letter she wrote to Senator Dianne Feinstein of California detailing her accusations against Kavanaugh was made known to the public last week, Ford made the difficult decision to come forward. "I feel like my civic responsibility is outweighing my anguish and terror about retaliation," she told the Post. Since revealing her identity, Ford has been doxxed and mocked on Twitter.
Some people questioned what took Ford so long to come forward. "Decades-old allegations against Kavanaugh come out just days before a vote....victim or opportunist?" tweeted Fox News's Tomi Lahren. Senator Orrin Hatch told CNN he thought Ford was "mistaken."
"I think she’s mistaking something, but I don’t know, I mean, I don’t know her," Hatch continued. And Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell criticised Democrats — and indirectly Ford — for waiting until "the 11th hour" to bring this up. "Now an accusation of 36-year-old misconduct, dating back to high school, has been brought forward at the last minute in an irregular manner," McConnell said on the Senate floor today.
It's common for survivors of sexual assault to wait to come forward, or not to come forward publicly at all, because they fear they won't be believed or will experience retaliation from the perpetrator. Sharing details about a traumatic encounter inherently requires you to trust that other people will be responsible with your story, which is understandably difficult for survivors. And this is especially true when the situation involves a high-ranking individual with a public position, says Kristen Houser, MPA, of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center and Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape. Plus, judging by the way Anita Hill was treated in 1991 when she accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court, it's not at all surprising that Ford initially wanted to keep her identity private.
"You know that you are walking into a situation where people are going to discount your version of a very personal, traumatising thing that's happened to you," Houser says. "It is likely they will attempt to pry into your personal life and find any example of miscommunication or anything that can be construed as dishonesty." In fact, last month Ford's lawyer suggested that she proactively take a polygraph test in case people called her a liar, the Post reported. The test found that Ford was telling the truth.
Certainly we have witnessed this happen with survivors who have come forward in the midst of the #MeToo movement. People may have heard stories in the news or had friends go through the process of reporting sexual assault, and not want to face the same stigma, says Bryan Pacheco, a spokesperson for Safe Horizon, a survivor assistance organisation. But the #MeToo movement has also given lots of people the vocabulary to discuss troubling events that happened in their past. "Once survivors learn that there's an abuser that has the potential to abuse others, they feel motivated like it's their responsibility to come forward and help others," he says.
In the Post article, Ford says it wasn't until she was in therapy in 2012 — long before the current #MeToo movement existed — that she told anyone about what had happened to her back in high school. According to Pacheco, this is a common way that survivors grapple with trauma. "It's unfair to say, Why did it take you so long," he says. "They may have had to work it out to come to a place where they feel safe enough to come forward." It could take months or years for someone to realise how a traumatic event impacted their life, he says.
When people encounter traumatic events, their brains also can't "file" the memories properly in some instances. In the moment, an experience might register as life-threatening, but they may not be able to categorise it as problematic until much later in life. "It leaves long-lasting imprints on your life," Houser says. "That's why it's not at all surprising that 30 years later [Ford is] discussing it in her private therapy." And if you're someone who has been carrying around your story for decades like Ford, then it can feel intimidating or vulnerable to eventually speak up publicly about it, she says.
As evidenced by the criticism Ford is receiving on social media, this case highlights why so many survivors hesitate to tell their own stories. If you're a survivor and planning on sharing your story publicly, Houser suggests it's important to have conversations with your family and friends beforehand about what to expect. "It’s important for people to have as much control over their story as they can, and usually people are willing to give support," she says.
"Sexual assault is a crime, and every allegation should be thoroughly investigated," Jodi Omear, vice president of the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) tells Refinery29 in a statement. "The allegations made by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford are very serious." Historically, however, Omear adds, hearing allegations like these often leads others to reach out for help.
Alumnae from the high school that Ford attended have since created an open letter of support for Ford, stating her experience is "all too consistent with stories we heard and lived while attending Holton [the high school she attended]."
They added: "Many of us are survivors ourselves."
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
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Well-lit, surprisingly large spaces in which every possible surface is covered in flawless white marble. Diptyque candle jars, their waxy remnants scooped out, used to hold assortments of lipsticks and makeup brushes. A mirrored tray with just the right assortment of jewellery, perfume bottles, and cosmetics. A hanging plant — or three! — above a white clawfoot tub, fronds dipping just low enough to make you wonder if their owners can reach up and touch them while bathing.
Recognise any of these bathroom decor and storage trends? If so, that’s likely because each is ubiquitous on the influencer-driven beauty site Into The Gloss — precursor to and editorial arm of the cosmetics company Glossier — and The Coveteur, another popular site that regularly features the bathrooms, beauty routines, closets, and homes of the hip, wealthy, and well-connected. The point of these franchises is to document the beauty and shopping rituals of a certain breed of cool-yet-relatable woman — you know, inasmuch as model-slash-DJs, fashion entrepreneurs, and people with last names like Getty and Vreeland are “relatable.” But they have simultaneously, and probably inadvertently, perpetuated a highly specific interior design aesthetic that, over the past few years, has begun to show up everywhere. You may have even adopted it yourself.
“They've even influenced the way I style my own bathroom!” interior designer Ariel Okin, who works with the popular design firm Homepolish (which just so happened to design an office for Into The Gloss in 2015), tells Refinery29. “Creating a zen, spa-like atmosphere has become paramount in bathrooms since the boom of the ‘bathroom interview.’" She cites an ongoing desire from her customers for ITG-inspired flourishes including “teak accents,” “plants in the shower,” and “colour-coordinating products in the medicine cabinets.”
While both the look and its popularisation via social media are quintessentially millennial, the concept of bathroom as both an articulation of the self and a site for women’s self-care is far from new. The notion of a woman having a room devoted to pampering and beautification dates back around 50 BC, when Cleopatra is said to have had a such a space, complete with a marble tub for her milk-and-honey baths. Marie Antoinette, of course, also had one. But it's probably most heavily associated with Old Hollywood, though the aesthetic back then — large bulbs surrounding a mirror, sumptuous fabrics, saturated colours — is much richer and more overtly feminine than today’s. More recently, famed interior designer Martyn Lawrence Bullard coined the term “glam room ” to describe the over-the-top bathrooms and bathroom-adjacent spaces where famous women, including, apparently, first lady Melania Trump, get their hair and makeup done.
“I actually think it's quite a renaissance of the Victorian era when women had a ‘boudoir’ attached to their bedrooms (men had “dressing rooms”),” Okin says. “There's something very personal and special about that time in the morning before work or evening before a date or an event when you're getting ready for what lies ahead, and the bathroom is, in essence, a vehicle for that moment.”
You can see plenty of ITG inspiration at work in the restrooms at the buzzy women-only clubhouse The Wing, which has locations in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Washington, DC in the US. In each of these locations, plant-filled, pink-accented white vanity tables — complete with those familiar mirrored trays holding high-end products from the likes of Chanel and The Ouai — aid many of the same kind of women who have been featured on Into The Gloss (think club founder Audrey Gelman, photographer Petra Collins, and Jenna Lyons) in getting ready for after-work events.
Interior designerChiara de Rege, who worked on The Wing, agrees with Okin that the Into The Gloss aesthetic has played an increasingly central role in how the women she works with conceive of their bathrooms. But, she says, for many of them, budget is still the primary concern.
“My clients often pin bathrooms from these sites for mood or inspiration. What’s interesting is that sometimes the inspiration isn’t actually that over the top. It might look it, but often it’s just really chic ways to reinterpret budget friendly solutions,” she tells Refinery29, noting that, when she was working with the team at The Wing, “our inspiration was more budget-related.”
De Rege is correct that this look — or, at least, a version of it — is somewhat easy to recreate on a budget, thanks in large part to the fact that it’s so minimalist. Perhaps this fact helps account for its immense popularity. Thanks to the bastion of democracy that is Instagram, there’s plenty of evidence that women around the world are not only gravitating towards this specific look, but taking it upon themselves to share their bathrooms with the wider world. The hashtag #TopShelfie — a phrase coined by ITG — reveals over 16,000 posts, while #ITGTopShelfie has upwards of 33,000, many from regular users unaffiliated with the brand who are nonetheless eager to share their version of minimalist-luxe bathroom glamour.
All of this begs the question of which came first: The aspirational bathroom or its ultra-specific aesthetic? Neither Into The Gloss, Glossier, or The Coveteur responded to requests from Refinery29 for comment on this story — we’d have loved to have asked them if, somehow, all of the women they profiled in the early days happened to share the same interior designer, or whether they sought out women whose homes looked vaguely similar to one another. But all it takes is a deep-dive into the archives of the sites to glean that this has, in fact, been the style they’ve been pushing since the get-go. And yet, these are presumably just the bathrooms their chosen subjects happened to have.
Perhaps nobody really invented the ITG bathroom aesthetic. Perhaps it just happened, through some combination of coincidence, burgeoning technology, and the foresight of people whose job it is to know what’s cool. After all, many of the women the various sites profile work in fashion, and trends in that realm regularly filter into the worlds of interiors, product design, and even architecture. And due to the relative infancy of the internet, these sites mark the first time personal bathrooms have really been shared with the wider world (outside of pictures in shelter magazines, where they were rarely the main attraction). Maybe this particular aesthetic took off because it was really the first to be made accessible to a wide swath of women, not just those with a lot of money or an established interest in interior design.
While the desire for a bathroom that doubles as a lounge, vanity, and even greenhouse seems here to stay, there’s a sunset for all aesthetic trends, even those that have pervaded for the better part of the past five or so years. We’re finally seeing a shift away from minimalism (not to mention millennial pink), both in fashion and in the world of interiors. What’s more, certain hallmarks of the ITG look have begun to feel cliche. I say this as someone who recently finished a Diptyque candle, considered cleaning it out for use as a bathroom storage vessel, then thought the better of it. Instead, I allowed my boyfriend to turn it into a makeshift ashtray, which I think is pretty much the antithesis. I feel like, at this point, I’d rather come up with my own cutesy storage hacks than steal one I've seen in every influencer's bathroom.
“What I think is different now is that more and more women aren’t so interested in having a formulaic kind of bathroom,” de Rege posits. “They are interested in infusing personality into these spaces and stories and layers with unexpected materials, colours, pattern, and art.”
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